My Head Right Now...

goes something like this:

work. friday-meet Lou. Must get holiday sticks for fish. Gizmo-dropped at Reptile store on wednesday. Hope she's ok. Worryworryworry.must get batteries. camera?! is it too big to get into hand luggage?shit-cake topper-handluggage?potential problem with it being made out of wire and foil armatures.xray.bleeping.intterogations.crap. Planes!??! too many planes. Konbanwa.camera batteries. fish sticks. food?!don't buy much shopping this week. post office-get Yen.Water leak-hope it doesn't start when we're away again.must put stuff back in cupboard when dry. Air. Planes. eek. Fear. pub this weekend. cooking for mum and dad saturday.sunday meal with grandparents.pub in evening. baileys.yum. Harry Potter. Must Get puzzler for plane. Sayonara.BATTERIES!packing? time yet. stuff. What about the crickets!?!??! facebook.calm.remember to sifen shampoo.Must write list. whats the time? use up milk before we leave.But they've only found three Horcruxes?! Damn. work tomorrow. breathe. hand luggage. travel. Buy Tissues! Pub. Soon.

REEEEElax.

I feel stressed at the moment. I feel like I've had or have still got too much to do, and yet when I actually think about it or list it all, it doesn't seem like much at all.

We fly to Japan a week on thursday. I've already spent a fortune on lightweight clothing and managed re-do all the hard work I did at paying back my overdraft. It's depressing. Niall has used a big chunk of his savings for spending money for the trip as well... it will take us months to save it all back up. I know that this trip is a life-time oppurtunity and of course, I shouldn't complain too much because if my parents hadn't footed the bill for accomodation and flights I would have missed my brothers wedding altogether, but still... it's a worry at the back of my mind I guess.

Then there's the cake topper that I've made for my brother for the wedding. This, thing, is the biggest reason I haven't blogged in the last few weeks because it's taken me that long to complete. It was hard. I had to start from scratch at one point. Vast quantities of Baileys were consumed in the making of it just to calm myself back into focusing onto the task at hand and not letting my perfectionism get the better of me. I like a challenge of this kind, but my god... blood, sweat and many many tears have gone into making that cake topper, and if anyone at any airport, any passenger or customs staff or ANYONE is responsible for breaking it on the long journey over to Japan... well I might just explode there on the spot.

To make things more worrying for my little anxious brain... there was the earthquake! Whyyyyyy it had to happen just before we go I have no idea, but it's scaring me. Apparantly this is the most active Japan's earthquakes have been in years. Great.

We've had pipe/water/leak troubles still. I was woken at 3am this morning by a loud tapping noise coming from outside the bedroom door, which turned out to be water pouring out of our airing cupboard so a sleepy rescue operation was undertaken in the early hours to save everything in the cupboard from becoming water damaged. We managed to rescue my lovely black christmas tree and our decorations, plus the vacuum and alot of nialls old uni work. For once in their lives our letting agent, GREENS, yes you, you crap, over paid-dumb-assed-lazy-arsed-good for nothing idots, actually did their jobs properly and managed to fix the problem within a whole day by actually calling a plumber when they said they would. There, that wasn't too hard was it? I was quite blunt with them on the phone this morning... I even made a comment about wether or not it would take 6months to fix since that had been how long it took to fix our toilet... to which she replied in a snotty tone "no it won't take 6 months I'll phone someone immediately"....My patience ebbed many months ago with this particular letting agent. Quite frankly they're shit.

What else? yes... rain. Lots of rain. That always makes things feel worse doesn't it?

I have a list in my head of things I need to get round to doing after Japan. Like looking for a better job, sorting out and funding another mail out for my illustration work etc. Right now though I can't focus on anything other than the next few weeks which is being taken up with getting things prepared for Japan. I think this is probably the cause of most of my mystery stress. I am excited don't get me wrong... but for me... that means a degree of anxiety too.

My time has also been spent lately playing on facebook (I think I've got used to it now); learning the odd word or two of Japanese, oh and of course, reading the new Harry Potter book which I'm about half way through. I have lots to do this week and next. I'll be catching up with a few good friends before I go away whic should be enough to keep me sane as my anxiety escalates!

Here's the topper anyway:

The main thing was.... they loved it. :-)

Speed Slinkster.

Look out for my face (or rather a picture of it!) on the left side pod of David Coulthard's Red Bull formula one racing car this weekend at the British GP. I'm there. Square number 02961. Cool eh?!

:-)