From a real woman.

"Real women have curves"

I resent this phrase.

The many years of using too-thin models on catwalks and the linking up of eating disorders with images of thin women in the media, has given birth to an ugly counter-phenomenon. I'm not going to deny that media has a hugely negative impact on women's esteem... but I find this particular line of defence disturbing. Women have turned on each other, using a "them and us" mindset which only serves to further alienate and lower esteem.

We should be pushing for real beauty, as opposed to plastics, airbrushing and photo-editing; We should be pushing for acceptance of spots, freckles, wrinkles, scars- all those things that makes human skin human; Pushing for feeling healthy and happy in your skin. THIS phrase, this "Real Women" assault, has been coined by full figured ladies tired of being made to feel ugly by the use of slim women in media- and they've fought back in the stereotypically bitchy way some women can resort to; by putting someone else down. It's cliched, it's dull and it's tiresome.

I am slim. I have always been small. Contrary to popular belief, I struggle to get clothes to fit and there are clothes I would love to wear but can't or wouldn't feel comfortable in. I don't tend to put on much weight but I am as susceptible to stretch marks and cellulite as the next woman. I have small boobs (highly unfashionable), very fair skin which does not tan (and neither do I feel the need to do so), thin hair, freckles, moles and scars. I have just as many issues with my body as the next woman- if not more. I have struggled accepting how I look and am prone to bouts of intense insecurity about my body; I've struggled to feel any degree of comfort in my skin. I am often asked if I eat properly, or if I specifically try to maintain my low weight... and people have no qualms about making comments about my physique which they wouldn't dream of doing to a fuller sized person. Something about being naturally slim seems to give the rest of the world an open invitation to comment on your size, as if for some reason, I won't mind. Well why would I, seeing as by today's standards, I am not a real woman.

I would love to ask those who feel the need to enquire about my clothing size, whether they would feel the need to ask it of a larger sized woman. I would also love to know how people calling me skinny as if it's a compliment, would feel if I suddenly felt the urge to conjure up a nickname based purely on the the size of their waistband.

This is the problem with this phrase.

It might make you fat ladies (not nice is it, being labelled) feel better about yourselves, but it's doing nothing for the fight against the media. The media has not changed; 99% of imagery we see in advertising is edited and airbrushed and we're still being conditioned to accept it.

It's doing nothing to fight against eating disorders because these disorders are always going to exist, exacerbated wherever there are attacks on women's esteem; as long as women are to be judged by what they look like and told they are not good enough.

It's doing nothing to challenge perceptions or promote happiness, esteem and acceptance for ALL women- quite the opposite in fact; it's divisive, nasty and a cheap shot. Whatever the intention was- it's misguided and poorly judged.


What is this even based on!? Are these ladies making a lame attempt at harking back to the old Renaissance paintings where big, pale, wobbly thighs were a thing of beauty- well fair enough- but a small bust and eating as much as you could to prove your wealth was fashionable then too. The truth is that Real Women come in all shapes and sizes, colours, heights and widths.

I may be slim. I may not conform to the stereotypical "beauty". But I AM a real woman. I am far more than my clothing size and will continue to feel saddened and disgusted by the promotion of the "real women" campaigns. Such a great opportunity lost and wasted, proving that women's self esteem will always be abused and contorted.