Spider Theories

Highlight of the week: Getting a new kettle at work. woob!

Lowlight of the week: Nearly losing Gizmo as she explored the mysterious world that lies behind the un-used sofa.

Spider Theories.

We've had a sudden influx of the beasts lately. Some say it could be because we just had a new toilet fitted and many were disturbed in the process and are now scouring our flat in search of a new home. Some may say it's the weather or the time of year for them to come inside.

Slinks says: They're up to something.

It started off with a littlun. This one has lived in a corner of the bathroom under the sink for some time. A strange place, I've always thought, for something whose web is meant to be for catching flies. I mean I can't imagine how many flies it actually catches down in a dark corner of a sink... but I'll play along with this little idea to keep the spider-loving, fool-hardy members of soceity amongst us who think they're helpful and just go about their business catching annoying insects. Anyway, I digress. It's chosen location is a handy place if only because by the time you've managed to reach it's web, it's already run away... or vanished as they seem to be able to do. This one though, I've got used to and since it wasn't the sort to move about much... I put up with it. I know this one. I know it's size and shape. I have a good eye for detail. It's front two legs are longer than the others and it's a sort of semi-small size that I can just about cope with. Well before long... others started appearing. The same shape and size. We tried to kill them... but they kept coming back. Clones. All of them clones of the first bathroom one... OR, the very same spider which never died. My theories were laughed off at first... but then someone of great authority (well.... my boss anyway) told me that spiders have learnt to survive being washed down the plug by clinging on to the sides of the pipe, turning themselves upside down, thus creating an air pocket from which they can breathe and remain alive to crawl back up the plug. Shit. They already know stuff... they already think and build crafty webs and know how to fly and now they're fighting back our well known and loved defences.

Well, things only got worse. I dreamt one night, about spiders... loads of them in a tank. They were white and kept escaping. The very next evening I walked into the bathroom and was confronted by the Mother of all spiders; staring at me it was, from the wall just above the sink. It's legs were the size of straws. Well maybe toothpicks... but still they were thick and black against the pale plaster and white tiles. I backed away, obviously and got Niall to remove the beast. He heard it crunch as he screwed up the tissue paper. And then it all made sense. Almost too big to be just one spider... this spider was bigger, thicker all over... I'm pretty sure now that it was a combination of all the other little clones... some sort of frankenstein spider.

It took a few days for it to all sink in. And it took a few days for me to also re-aquaint myself with the bathroom and all of it's hidden evil. My latest anxiety is that they're hiding in the loo roll tube... waiting. It's almost enough to make me start using the loo roll holder again.

So, now I'm just waiting for the next one. Possibly bigger, I don't even know how many clones there may have been. I suspect our bathroom pipe problems and leaks were all because of them somehow... maybe causing a blockage training the clones in their plughole defence exercises. Who knows what they'll learn next.

Shoop.

The puke vanished.

I don't think the culprit cleaned it up though. I think the old man did. Either way... it's gone and I'm glad.

I got a new Tee shirt the other day. It says:

" To Err is Human, To Arr is Pirate"

... which I thought was pretty cool.

I've also completed another model but I've yet to photograph it and turn it into a finished illustration yet. It took me four days to finish the model and it's the first time I've tried to get a likeness of a real person, so it was quite a challenge. I'm pleased with it though, I think, and I'll post up the result soon.

And to round up this mini-post... here is Gizmo in all her smiley glory...