Well... after another loooooooooong week... I got the call. After waiting anxiously all day I got the news I had been waiting for. I got the job! :-) I have no location yet but FINALLY I am going to be getting paid a decent amount and have a new role, a new challenge which uses my skills and all the knowledge I've built up. I am so chuffed. I will be gutted to leave such a great team of people; they've become my little family over the last two years and I'll miss the banter and laughs so much. BUT, it's got to happen sooner or later; things could have changed beyond my control anyway so at least this way I am leaving on MY terms to a promotion that I want and have worked for. It's a new challenge and a completely new role for the force so it's an exciting opportunity.
I am so pleased. This week I've just got to keep my fingers crossed that my postings location is one that I've preferenced and get my leaving date confirmed, then it's all signed, sealed and delivered. Boom indeed.
It meant I could actually, properly relax this weekend and enjoy three days of chilling despite the rain. I've had drinks, movies, good food and caught up with some chums. Exactly what the doctor ordered.
I also got to spend a few minutes on Sunday night watching my little niece open her presents on her second birthday. She said hello and smiled and waved at me.. then she opened her presents and seemed to take an interest in the bilingual books I had got her. She can say a few English words now- Apple, Ball, T-Shirt and an interesting take on the word Thank you... but it was so precious to see her starting to use vocabulary in two languages the clever little monkey. I really hope I can get to see her next year. I need to get saving!
Smiles all round this weekend. I've managed to catch up on some sleep and have started having some weird dreams lately about problems with my body, and then one last night about Pirates!
I feel really proud of myself - not something I say all that often - but I am.
Happy, happy times. :-)
Monday, May 26, 2014
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Piggy.
Nine Inch Nails on Sunday night was, as expected, EPIC. The gig was a more meaty than their Belfast gig last year. It was less about playing the classics and crowd-pleasers and more about blowing minds. If you were new to Nine Inch Nails (unlikely) I can imagine it was a bit of a baptism by fire. It was unbelievable: perfect sound coupled with a blinding, awe-inspiring lighting performance and staging. Favourites of the night were Disappointed, a brilliantly haunting version of Sanctified, The Great Destroyer (which is immense through decent earphones; practically hypnotic and made my heart race; gave me goosebumps live) and a superb Piggy.
I know I'm biased, because in my eyes (ears?) pretty much everything Trent Reznor touches turns to gold, however this music just feels like my insides; how my soul feels. It's just fucking awesome.
"Piggy"Hey pig,
Yeah you.
Hey pig, piggy, pig, pig, pig
All of my fears came true.
Black and blue and broken bones,
You left me here; I'm all alone.
My little piggy needed something new.
Nothing can stop me now,
'Cause I don't care anymore.
Nothing can stop me now,
'Cause I just don't care.
Hey pig,
Nothing's turning out the way I planned.
Hey pig,
There's a lot of things I hoped you could help me understand.
What am I supposed to do? I lost my shit because of you.
Yeah you.
Hey pig, piggy, pig, pig, pig
All of my fears came true.
Black and blue and broken bones,
You left me here; I'm all alone.
My little piggy needed something new.
Nothing can stop me now,
'Cause I don't care anymore.
Nothing can stop me now,
'Cause I just don't care.
Hey pig,
Nothing's turning out the way I planned.
Hey pig,
There's a lot of things I hoped you could help me understand.
What am I supposed to do? I lost my shit because of you.
Nothing can stop me now,
'Cause I don't care anymore.
Nothing can stop me now,
'Cause I just don't care.
'Cause I don't care anymore.
Nothing can stop me now,
'Cause I just don't care.
Oh god. Perfect.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Love this.
Tremors by SOHN
Vibrations of tremors that shook long ago
Tear holes in the fabric of all that we know
Can’t survive with the secrets we have
All that we have is a lie
Hold the line
Til the thread comes undone
If you’re thinking of letting me go then it’s time that you do
Flood lines we etched when we merged into one
Rewind and scroll on before they were done
If you’re thinking of letting me go then it’s time that you do.
Vibrations of tremors that shook long ago...
Vibrations of tremors that shook long ago
Tear holes in the fabric of all that we know
Can’t survive with the secrets we have
All that we have is a lie
Hold the line
Til the thread comes undone
If you’re thinking of letting me go then it’s time that you do
Flood lines we etched when we merged into one
Rewind and scroll on before they were done
If you’re thinking of letting me go then it’s time that you do.
Vibrations of tremors that shook long ago...
Storm.
I feel good.
What a beautifully, refreshing day of laziness I've had.
It's been warm... the sun has tried to nudge it's way through the clouds. It's close, humid, like there is a storm bubbling... or maybe that's residual energy from last night's bizarre conversations.
I had an apology yesterday.
Unexpected and out of the blue.
This has happened twice to me in the last two years... the former was perhaps more necessary than the latter... but at least it came. It's small... sometimes a bit insignificant but it helps to know that I'm not completely crazy and people are capable of self awareness.
I've surprised myself by accepting both. I can be pretty hateful when hurt. Time passes and you realise you are better off anyway, but an apology is still welcome from some.
I wish these people well- genuinely- despite them playing no further part in my life.
People are in your past for a reason.
More so if you're a lying, manipulative, egotistical, illogical, unapologetic c*nt who deserves nothing but disdain. Your word dear- it is, I must say, perfect. May it echo in your shallow brain for eternity. I wish you nothing. You deserve it; Fucking people about, lying wherever you go and being proud of it... you have bigger problems than you will ever realise. Good luck to whoever you're currently conning into believing you're a decent human being. Undoubtedly the most regrettable person I have ever trusted and thought I knew... I still remain shocked at just how incredibly wrong I was. Almost a year since we spoke... a letter that will never get read... will now burn.
What goes around comes around.
I am better, stronger, sharper, greater. I am in a good place right now. Refreshed after an intense, stressy month all I needed was one day to catch up on sleep, rest my head and focus. An apology from someone who means little to me now, but still cared enough to say it. Closure.
Good things are happening for me... changes are coming... and I am excited...
What a beautifully, refreshing day of laziness I've had.
It's been warm... the sun has tried to nudge it's way through the clouds. It's close, humid, like there is a storm bubbling... or maybe that's residual energy from last night's bizarre conversations.
I had an apology yesterday.
Unexpected and out of the blue.
This has happened twice to me in the last two years... the former was perhaps more necessary than the latter... but at least it came. It's small... sometimes a bit insignificant but it helps to know that I'm not completely crazy and people are capable of self awareness.
I've surprised myself by accepting both. I can be pretty hateful when hurt. Time passes and you realise you are better off anyway, but an apology is still welcome from some.
I wish these people well- genuinely- despite them playing no further part in my life.
People are in your past for a reason.
More so if you're a lying, manipulative, egotistical, illogical, unapologetic c*nt who deserves nothing but disdain. Your word dear- it is, I must say, perfect. May it echo in your shallow brain for eternity. I wish you nothing. You deserve it; Fucking people about, lying wherever you go and being proud of it... you have bigger problems than you will ever realise. Good luck to whoever you're currently conning into believing you're a decent human being. Undoubtedly the most regrettable person I have ever trusted and thought I knew... I still remain shocked at just how incredibly wrong I was. Almost a year since we spoke... a letter that will never get read... will now burn.
What goes around comes around.
I am better, stronger, sharper, greater. I am in a good place right now. Refreshed after an intense, stressy month all I needed was one day to catch up on sleep, rest my head and focus. An apology from someone who means little to me now, but still cared enough to say it. Closure.
Good things are happening for me... changes are coming... and I am excited...
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Flop.
Aaaannd relax.
Three weeks. THREE. WEEKS. of interviews is finally over. Interview 3 went... ok. After the last debacle I am finding it hard to judge. But it was neither great nor terrible. The weeks of prep work, studying, reading reams and reams of documents, guidance, policies and revising various law acts went COMPLETELY to waste as I wasn't asked ONCE what I did to prepare!!! Gutted. Since I got out I've grown more and more aware of all the missed opportunities that I could have weaved all that prep work into my answers and pushed my hard work more... but really it would have been taking it all off track and not kept my answers focussed on the question... ugh it's hard.
Either way, it's over now and all I can do is sit and wait. No actually... sit and RELAX and wait.
The last seven weeks have been ridiculous. Four of them running the office by myself, the latter three being taken up with interviews and squeezing in a cake topper for good measure. Stressy. But it's all over... this weekend I have FOUR days off with no interview prep, no cake topper to finish... it's ALL me time and I intend to enjoy EVERY minute of it. I can also get back into the gym which I've been neglecting lately and man I can really tell.
To make it even more immense... Sunday is NINE INCH NAILS time. Holy. Shit.
Three weeks. THREE. WEEKS. of interviews is finally over. Interview 3 went... ok. After the last debacle I am finding it hard to judge. But it was neither great nor terrible. The weeks of prep work, studying, reading reams and reams of documents, guidance, policies and revising various law acts went COMPLETELY to waste as I wasn't asked ONCE what I did to prepare!!! Gutted. Since I got out I've grown more and more aware of all the missed opportunities that I could have weaved all that prep work into my answers and pushed my hard work more... but really it would have been taking it all off track and not kept my answers focussed on the question... ugh it's hard.
Either way, it's over now and all I can do is sit and wait. No actually... sit and RELAX and wait.
The last seven weeks have been ridiculous. Four of them running the office by myself, the latter three being taken up with interviews and squeezing in a cake topper for good measure. Stressy. But it's all over... this weekend I have FOUR days off with no interview prep, no cake topper to finish... it's ALL me time and I intend to enjoy EVERY minute of it. I can also get back into the gym which I've been neglecting lately and man I can really tell.
To make it even more immense... Sunday is NINE INCH NAILS time. Holy. Shit.
Tuesday, May 06, 2014
BOOM!
Yikes. Where to start?!
Friday couldn't come soon enough last week; the week seemed to go on forever after my first okay interview and the one from hell... I just wanted the three day weekend to come so I could relax... well kindof.
I pretty much wished most of Friday away hoping that the phonecall turning me down for the job position was over quickly so I could forget about it over the weekend. I had already made up my mind about the first job and was prepared to turn it down on the basis that it was (wrongly) less money. The second one, I just wanted to get the dreaded feedback and forget the whole thing.
What I wasn't expecting as my phone conveniently rang as I parked up at Sainsbugs on my way home on Friday, was for them to offer me the job!??! This was met by .... "er what?" as I tried to compute how they could possibly have cruelly got the wrong phone number to call for the job offer?! I've avoided even posting about it because the whole experience was just awful... consisting of analysing a case study for ten minutes, then getting an hour to produce a presentation and then present it to the interview panel in ten minutes. This was immediately followed by 5/6 challenging interview questions. I was a bit overwhelmed with the case study; ten minutes not being long enough for me to process the pages of intell logs, crime reports and offender profiles. I managed to string some semblance of an inference together with some recommendations but my presentation wasn't slick or structured and I rushed through it with minutes to spare. The mess up through me and I felt flustered through the interview in which I stupidly managed to end up discussing my main weakness in relation to the post (!? I mean really?! ) before finally leaving knowing I had been completely out of my depth. It was awful.
Clearly they disagreed! I was absolutely stunned and remain pretty puzzled as to how on EARTH I got offered it. I'd told everyone who asked during the week that unless no one else showed up I had ZERO chance at the job! The only thing comforting me was the fact that I had one more interview pending... the one I really want- Job C.
On Friday, I also got confirmation that I had passed the paper sift and would be given an interview date in the next couple of weeks. I've had to inform Job B about Job C, and he's kindly waiting until I get a date for the interview. I just hope it isn't AAGES away as I don't want to keep them waiting too long for an answer.
Fingers crossed... and hopefully I can avoid any further magpies for this upcoming interview. But, at least, if I don't get it, I have a really good job offer as a back up plan with a slightly smaller pay increase, but lots of potential and intrigue all the same. Big smiles.
I kept my good news quiet for that evening, as it was my Dad's birthday meal and I didn't want to detract from his birthday outing. We went to a newly refurbished restaurant nearby called the Trooper which specialised in Longhorn Steaks. I opted for scallops and a tasty sea bass but the highlight was the dessert... My sister and I shared a chocolate stuffed crust pizza with a berry compote and hot chocolate sauce topping with melted marshmallows. The tension built as we watched it get prepared and put into the Roman stone oven and I held my camera phone in anticipation of it arriving before us on the table. Sadly, it lacked on visual presentation looking like a large, ugly cowpat but OH MY FREAKIN GOD the taste was IMMENSE. It was by the far the most amazing pudding I have tasted in some time and I KNOW my puddings. It was just delicious; oozing with warm, smooth, chocolate sauce and a light chocolate pizza dough base. Perfection.
Saturday was spent sculpting; eagerly trying to finish my latest commission before my deadline next weekend. Problems hit left, right and centre as I had major stability problems with both figures which I've only partially fixed. I'm not happy with the arms either, struggling to fit the two together properly and having to bodge the arms a little bit at the back. These are all things that I need to resolve next weekend.
Sunday; N, Becko and her partner E, set off for a day hiking in the Peaks. With perfect walking conditions (not too hot, but dry and overcast) we climbed three very steep hills; the challenge being getting down most of them rather than getting up! One was particularly steep on the slope down, with any semblance of gravelly pathways just turning to loose, marbles under your feet. It was easier to grip on to the grass and just slowly edge your way down on all fours. We were out from about 11.30 to 4.30 walking, exploring and absorbing the sights. I got some brilliant photographs which probably still don't do justice to the views or the height.
A truly perfect day, aside from some annoying and uncomfortable tummy cramps. A day of fresh air, energy bars, leg muscles, landscapes and scrambling up and down steep slopes and across sweeping green fields. Needless to say I slept like a baby that night!
Bank Holiday Monday was a slightly less energetic affair with me spending most of the day reading up on some interview prep documents, a bit of sculpting and washing little Franko. Not very exciting I think you will agree, but all necessary tasks!
So with my weeks at my current job looking numbered, I'm trying to enjoy it as much as I can. Changes are coming... big ones... and all for the good. :)
Now if I could just get rid of those magpies...
Friday couldn't come soon enough last week; the week seemed to go on forever after my first okay interview and the one from hell... I just wanted the three day weekend to come so I could relax... well kindof.
I pretty much wished most of Friday away hoping that the phonecall turning me down for the job position was over quickly so I could forget about it over the weekend. I had already made up my mind about the first job and was prepared to turn it down on the basis that it was (wrongly) less money. The second one, I just wanted to get the dreaded feedback and forget the whole thing.
What I wasn't expecting as my phone conveniently rang as I parked up at Sainsbugs on my way home on Friday, was for them to offer me the job!??! This was met by .... "er what?" as I tried to compute how they could possibly have cruelly got the wrong phone number to call for the job offer?! I've avoided even posting about it because the whole experience was just awful... consisting of analysing a case study for ten minutes, then getting an hour to produce a presentation and then present it to the interview panel in ten minutes. This was immediately followed by 5/6 challenging interview questions. I was a bit overwhelmed with the case study; ten minutes not being long enough for me to process the pages of intell logs, crime reports and offender profiles. I managed to string some semblance of an inference together with some recommendations but my presentation wasn't slick or structured and I rushed through it with minutes to spare. The mess up through me and I felt flustered through the interview in which I stupidly managed to end up discussing my main weakness in relation to the post (!? I mean really?! ) before finally leaving knowing I had been completely out of my depth. It was awful.
Clearly they disagreed! I was absolutely stunned and remain pretty puzzled as to how on EARTH I got offered it. I'd told everyone who asked during the week that unless no one else showed up I had ZERO chance at the job! The only thing comforting me was the fact that I had one more interview pending... the one I really want- Job C.
On Friday, I also got confirmation that I had passed the paper sift and would be given an interview date in the next couple of weeks. I've had to inform Job B about Job C, and he's kindly waiting until I get a date for the interview. I just hope it isn't AAGES away as I don't want to keep them waiting too long for an answer.
Fingers crossed... and hopefully I can avoid any further magpies for this upcoming interview. But, at least, if I don't get it, I have a really good job offer as a back up plan with a slightly smaller pay increase, but lots of potential and intrigue all the same. Big smiles.
I kept my good news quiet for that evening, as it was my Dad's birthday meal and I didn't want to detract from his birthday outing. We went to a newly refurbished restaurant nearby called the Trooper which specialised in Longhorn Steaks. I opted for scallops and a tasty sea bass but the highlight was the dessert... My sister and I shared a chocolate stuffed crust pizza with a berry compote and hot chocolate sauce topping with melted marshmallows. The tension built as we watched it get prepared and put into the Roman stone oven and I held my camera phone in anticipation of it arriving before us on the table. Sadly, it lacked on visual presentation looking like a large, ugly cowpat but OH MY FREAKIN GOD the taste was IMMENSE. It was by the far the most amazing pudding I have tasted in some time and I KNOW my puddings. It was just delicious; oozing with warm, smooth, chocolate sauce and a light chocolate pizza dough base. Perfection.
Saturday was spent sculpting; eagerly trying to finish my latest commission before my deadline next weekend. Problems hit left, right and centre as I had major stability problems with both figures which I've only partially fixed. I'm not happy with the arms either, struggling to fit the two together properly and having to bodge the arms a little bit at the back. These are all things that I need to resolve next weekend.
Sunday; N, Becko and her partner E, set off for a day hiking in the Peaks. With perfect walking conditions (not too hot, but dry and overcast) we climbed three very steep hills; the challenge being getting down most of them rather than getting up! One was particularly steep on the slope down, with any semblance of gravelly pathways just turning to loose, marbles under your feet. It was easier to grip on to the grass and just slowly edge your way down on all fours. We were out from about 11.30 to 4.30 walking, exploring and absorbing the sights. I got some brilliant photographs which probably still don't do justice to the views or the height.
A truly perfect day, aside from some annoying and uncomfortable tummy cramps. A day of fresh air, energy bars, leg muscles, landscapes and scrambling up and down steep slopes and across sweeping green fields. Needless to say I slept like a baby that night!
Bank Holiday Monday was a slightly less energetic affair with me spending most of the day reading up on some interview prep documents, a bit of sculpting and washing little Franko. Not very exciting I think you will agree, but all necessary tasks!
So with my weeks at my current job looking numbered, I'm trying to enjoy it as much as I can. Changes are coming... big ones... and all for the good. :)
Now if I could just get rid of those magpies...
Thursday, May 01, 2014
One for Sorrow...
Is it just me or has there been an increase in the number of Magpies?
The last two weeks, funnily enough around my interviews... I've seen loads of them; nearly always on their own. Or could it be, that I'm just more aware of them?
It seems to have tailed off this week... but it's just weird.
One for Sorrow
Two for Joy
Three for a girl
Four for a boy
Five for silver
Six for gold
Seven for a secret never to be told
Eight for a wish
Nine for a kiss
Ten for a surprise you won't want to miss
Eleven for health
Twelve for wealth
Thirteen beware, it's the devil himself.
And yeah, I HAVE seen thirteen at once.
Definitely some sorrow this week. MOST definitely some bad luck... though I wish I could solely blame the Magpie's for my shocking interview performance but sadly I think that was down to me and me only!
Apparently they mean different things all over the world... being lucky in some! Some countries say they can control the weather, some say that they bring death, others saying they bring good charms and good people into your life! But whilst I'm not especially superstitious about other things, I genuinely can't see a Magpie without greeting it properly to ward off the bad luck.
Having said that I did force a tiny money spider to cross my palm last week in the hope it might bring me luck. I may as well absorb as much as I can for the next two weeks... This. Could. Be. It.
It's coming...
The last two weeks, funnily enough around my interviews... I've seen loads of them; nearly always on their own. Or could it be, that I'm just more aware of them?
It seems to have tailed off this week... but it's just weird.
One for Sorrow
Two for Joy
Three for a girl
Four for a boy
Five for silver
Six for gold
Seven for a secret never to be told
Eight for a wish
Nine for a kiss
Ten for a surprise you won't want to miss
Eleven for health
Twelve for wealth
Thirteen beware, it's the devil himself.
And yeah, I HAVE seen thirteen at once.
Definitely some sorrow this week. MOST definitely some bad luck... though I wish I could solely blame the Magpie's for my shocking interview performance but sadly I think that was down to me and me only!
Apparently they mean different things all over the world... being lucky in some! Some countries say they can control the weather, some say that they bring death, others saying they bring good charms and good people into your life! But whilst I'm not especially superstitious about other things, I genuinely can't see a Magpie without greeting it properly to ward off the bad luck.
Having said that I did force a tiny money spider to cross my palm last week in the hope it might bring me luck. I may as well absorb as much as I can for the next two weeks... This. Could. Be. It.
It's coming...
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