You and I, we may look the same
But we are very far apart
There's bullet holes where my compassion used to be
and there is violence in my heart
Into fire you can send us
From the fire we return
You can label us a consequence of how much you have to learn
NIN
I don't know why I get so angry. Well actually I do... I know exactly why... because I can pinpoint the feelings, the rising, the actual moment it all started and I was introduced to a new level of hatred and hurt... but still so angry? I think a part of me doesn't want to let it go. There's protection there; as long as it's there, there's distance and with distance is protection.
And that's how it's staying for some time. I'm not forcing it away becasue I have a right to this anger.
There are other people I'm still angry at. A lesser anger that I'm happy with. I'm angry at the lack of care. I pity you in many ways. I'm not sorry for you though. I'm not sorry for anything because it was all you. And I don't think you realise the damage really, you don't care enough to. That's okay. This anger doesn't amount to anything really... not unless I think about it a great great deal. But that would be pointless. I just don't feel you're a friend anymore. A distant nothing is all you are.
Thank god there are songs that touch this part of me and connect with it enough to just burn it back for a bit. Singe the edges and keep it at bay... make it okay. Breathe.
1 comment:
it's ok to be angry. some of my most admired women (hem hem) are angry ones. you have every right, my slink. people are all of the emotions and things that comprise them, not just the "nice" (as society views it, anyway) things.
go ignite that rage and use it to make something beautiful. :)
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