Saturday, September 12, 2009

Uncomplete.

I haven't had the time to blog for months. I hate it, actually. Being busy is all well and good but it means months roll by and before you know it it's nearly christmas again.

I've been in my "was new" job for six months now and passed all my probationary wotsits so that's good news. Six months have absolutely flown by. I felt pretty out of sorts last week and I put it down to not being able to make stuff.

I don't feel complete. Working full time at a job with good earning potential and good long term prospects is the sensible thing to do. Hell I've got a pension for gawds sakes which I suppose is a good thing... but it means alot of my days are sucked into a meaningless blur of commuting and the hum of computers, shuffling papers and earning money to pay my bills. Necessary I guess but it's not allowing me room to be do what I do best. It's not allowing me to stretch my creative self and make stuff which is the only time I feel truly complete. Whole.

I have a project in mind which could take a few months. Once I get the materials I'll make a start on it not only because I want to but because I need to for the sake of my creative brain. My biggest fear right here in the moment is losing my creativity; losing my ability to make things would be like cutting both my arms off. If I'm not able to find time to make things then I might as well.

I miss blogland. I will make more of an effort.

1 comment:

ktpland said...

yay welcome back! been checking every so often for an update and yay it's here! know what you mean about creativity. i miss drawing. dunno if i'd be able to do it anymore now, really need to get a sketchbook and start doodling again.