Sucker Punch.

Someone I trusted let me down.  Massively. 

It's partly my fault.  I'm an open person, and I tend to expect most people are honest.  Someone I considered a friend has proven that I need to be a little bit more cautious with my trust.  When the anger subsides, I mostly just feel furious at myself for trusting them. 

I am beginning to feel very drained.  Words aren't coming easily at the moment.  I have a week booked off work next week and I'm heading to Bruge with N for a while to recooperate relax for a bit. 

I'll spend the weekend sculpting, immersing myself in what I am good at, then fly away for a while. No phone. No tv. Just air and new sights.  I'm going to take my SLR and take some shots to reaquaint myself with the beauty and simplicity of taking a photograph through a lens.

I can't wait.

Steady as she goes.

It's been so long since I last blogged that the whole ruddy blog site has changed!

My new job is well underway.  I'm still criminally undertrained- literally lol. Badum tush.  There is much yet to learn, and I'm still overwhelmed by vast portions of the job.  However, I'm getting good feedback from my bosses so I mustn't be doing too badly.  I miss the banter within that family unit that I had with my old job.  I know this takes time to build, but I realise just how much that work family unit had been my distraction from all the other crappy stuff going on.  Now I don't have it, it highlights how lonely I feel.  Even when I'm surrounded by people.

My sleep is disrupted lately.  I know why.  Lack of direction mainly. 

I need to find a more permanent place to live.  I need to start listening to my head not my heart.

It's not all gloom.  I have some sculpting projects underway as well as some 2d artwork.  It'll focus my mind a little and the process of building, constructing and creating will be good for my soul at a time where a lot of things seem to be falling a part.

Hold it together.  Keep calm.  And carry on.