Highs and Lows.

The storm:

Work. Missing my old job/colleagues/work banter/friends.  Missing my old life.  Missing N- The way we used to be. POLITICS. Missing my home.  Missing my belongings.  Feeling torn.  Indecisive.  Having no base, no roots.  Not belonging.  Permanent state of confusion. Feeling inadequate compared to friends and family.  Being surrounded by reminders that I should be settled. FEAR of never being happy or not knowing how to be. Being screwed over.  Realising I got someone wrong.  Being hurt.  Feeling Lost.  Not being able to afford a home vs.  Not wanting to live alone. Drinking too much.  Loneliness. DANCING to ESCAPE.


The calm:

My neice- seeing my brother and my family so full of love for her.  Sculpting.  Friends who care. New Shoes. Dancing to escape. Music. My own little car. Seeing my friends happy.