Splurge.

Yikes.

It's been a while again.  I've had bloggable tales for months but lack of computer access is preventing me blogging at the moment.

My "new" job has wierdly turned into 6 months in, and I still feel majorly lacking in knowledge and training. 

I've been let down by a good friend recently.  Though its become quickly apparant they weren't a good friend at all.  It's made me value the friendships that have lasted.  I know I don't always make the effort I should do with some of my friends- the monotany of the day to day cycle gets in the way sometimes but it's clear that those deserving of my friendship will remain in my life regardless.

I've completed a couple of sculpture projects recently which have grounded me and made me feel whole again.  The last one I completed was for Miss P's wedding.  Neither bride nor groom to be have seen it yet so I'm getting knots in my stomach thinking of them seeing it for the first time.  I really hope they like it. I love that I've been able to contribute in a small way to their big day and give them something that hopefully they can keep forever as a token of the days memories and happiness. :)  

The problem I have right now is that with work being what it is, and my accomodation situation getting steadily worse, missing the home life I once had- I've been over compensating with nights out, drinking and spending money.  I've had a bit of a splurge recently in preparation for Miss Ps wedding next weekend which I am so excited for. I have some pretty amazing shoes as a result, but I'm well aware that no amount of shoes are going to replace the hole I feel in my heart at the moment.

As much as my heart fills for them both, I have to admit it could be a hard day on a personal level... seeing old uni friends, maybe realising that so many people have what I don't have... What I could have had, maybe.  I guess no wedding is complete without the obligatory feelings of inadequacy after a few drinks. 

After next weekend- I am definitely cutting down on alcohol.