A letter to myself at the end of my pregnancy...

Slink, 

You never thought you would be in this situation; you never expected to be sat here waiting like this. 

You're scared. Naturally. Terrified, in fact of the imminent pain to come, but also what lies ahead - worry and concern over money and keeping someone else safe in a changing world.  Amidst that, is a huge epiphany and shaping of yourself as a new person... a mother... and the welcoming of a tiny person grown inside my own odd body into our lives and home.  

The main thing you need to remember as you sit here doubting your ability to deal with the last few weeks and that final painful and frightening finale, as you so naturally do... is that you can do this.  You never thought you could grow a person inside the body you've taken so long to get accustomed to - but you have.  You've done this alone.  Your energy, your blood and life force has grown this being. 

You never thought you could cope with the long eight months behind you.  The nausea, the sickness, the nasal congestion and permanent inability to breathe normally, the lack of sleep, the lack of available drugs to help with colds, the discomfort, the never-ending and all consuming fatigue, the pain, the heart palpitations and anaemia, the shortness of breath when moving, the back ache, the swollen feet, the constant aches and stretching, the constipation, the feet and elbows scraping across the insides of your body, the heartburn and indigestion, the lack of being able to eat and drink things you enjoy, not being able to wear clothes comfortably or fit into my shoes, the emotions, the tears.  You have however, coped with all of that. It's not been easy granted, but you've survived it.  And if you've survived all that for nine months... you can survive the traumas of giving birth. It's one last step, a long one yes, but one you can do.  You are stronger than you realise and you have everything you need to do this one last part.  

Be proud of yourself.  Don't beat yourself up for it being so hard.  Don't feel guilty for having hated all but the scans and first kicks.  Don't feel ashamed of hating the pressures and pains of pregnancy.  Be proud that you've endured it.  I've tolerated all that (in protest many days) but I've done it.  And I will endure the final phase.  

You have strength Slink.  You can and will do this.