Letter to Friend Z.

Wow.

What a total bitch you turned out to be.

I am mostly- unsurprised.

Unsurprised that a drama-seeking, attention-loving, desperate, weak and completely self-absorbed, walking victim like you has reacted to the news that- hey, you're a fuck up.

We all are. Thing is we all just deal with it. 

I've been there, selflessly, for you for years.  In the ten years I have known you to be all the things I've mentioned above, I looked past it for one reason- friendship. I stuck up for you, spend fuck knows how many hours listening to your never-ending problems; it's only been in the last couple of years as I've watched you continuously CHOOSE drama, anguish and problems over being strong, independent and stable that my patience has worn thin.  Mistakes I can forgive, but only once.  After that, they cease to be mistakes and become INFORMED CHOICES.  And still, even then, I have listened with failing words of "advice" and comfort... running out of patience, energy and words. Until this.  And now, to have it thrown back in my face without a second thought (why would you being inherently selfish?) and to be labelled as much of an evil force in your life as your cheating ex- is quite frankly, laughable.

I am unsurprised that you couldn't handle the criticism when you can't even handle a day at work where a child has cried. Big fucking deal. 

I am unsurprised that you got defensive because deep down you know there is some truth to my words.

I am unsurprised you lack the mental capacity to think of anything but yourself because that is what I have become accustomed to in a one sided friendship where I have become more of a counsellor.

I haven't lost anything.  I haven't lost a friend I could count on as you were frequently too busy to give a fuck about anyone just because you had to put in an 8 hour day every now and then.  I haven't lost someone who cares about the last 12 months of my own life.  I've "lost" someone who admitted to feeling glad when I split up with N because you had someone to share in your own misery.  What a fucked up little bubble of shit you live in. 

I feel a weight has lifted.  And now I hear you have been bad mouthing me to anyone who will listen. It's quite frankly pathetic but I understand why you're being as bitchy as you are.  Because you're not used to strong people telling you the truth.  I am stronger than you will ever be and as such I close the door behind your little strop and say "good riddance". 

I have lost nothing.

Enjoy wallowing in misery and drama for eternity; I no longer have time or energy for it and I no longer give a fuck about anyone who wouldn't do the same for me.

S