bleeeurrrrghhhnarffff@**?!fnmmphhhh.

That's how I feel at the moment.

Things are going nowhere fast in my latest project. Materials can't be found, and substitutes are failing, money is low so I can't get exactly what I need. Thing's just aren't working and it's pissing me right off. That leads me to not even want to attempt any work because it just goes wrong, which means I don't do enough, which means I haven't GOT enough work for my tutorial on wednesday and that I'm not likely to get this project done in the two weeks I have to do it. My tutor's no help either, he thinks I have all the money on the world to spend on materials, and that I have a secret stash of everything somewhere that I can just pop along to and get the exact thing I need. Er, no. I am in fact a poor student with severe motivation problems. I need a good kick up the ass. Part of the problem lies in getting hold of an old, metal spoked, 15cm diameter wheel (of which there are NONE in the whole worlds it seems. Bike wheels are way too big)... for this juggler/ferris wheel caracter (long story) and last night I was even dreaming about the damn things...

See, I was getting on this wierd ferris wheel type ride, except it wasn't JUST a ferris wheel. Somehow in your typical physically-impossible-inexplicable-dream-scenario-styley , this ferris wheel ride went upside down in the middle and to actually board one of the carriages you had to stand on this wierd rope swing attatchment. So, while standing on this rope thing, the wheel started to move, with me and the rope thing still attatched to the outside of the carriage. I was clinging on as best I could, but I just knew that once I reached the middle where it went upside down, I'd just plummet to my death, so I knew I had to let go. I was already quite high up at this point, but I let go and fell to the ground, suprisingly not sustaining any injuries (woohoo). Wierdly though, I met Niall and my family who'd seen me fall, and they sat me down. They looked shaken and Niall went over to one of the ride managers for what I hoped was to complain about the lack of safety with the wheel, but instead he just sat down and the manager gave him some tea and a hug for looking so worried!

It made me laugh when I woke up, until I realised that bloody wheels were now invading my dreams. Then I thought it was just wierd.

Think it's just the Sunday night blues... but I'm dreading this week. I might actually get told off in my tutorial. Like, properly I mean. But it won't be a shouty telling off, it'll be one of those serious ones, with the eyes and the "this could mean a failure if you don't get your act together" type of expression. Then the same afternoon we have this lecture about graduating and setting up our businesses that goes on til after six. Urghhh.. head hurts just thinking about it. Tomorrow, however should be nice. I have to make Niall have a really nice day because it's his birthday and I want him to feel special.

Fingers crossed.