Gutted

"Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been
It's your right and your ability
To become…my perfect enemy…
Wake up and face me, don’t play dead cause maybe
Someday I’ll walk away and say,
“You disappoint me,”
Maybe you’re better off this way"

Passive, APC

Bluurrrrb

I gave rock night a miss last night. I just didn't feel like it which is strange. We went to the cinema instead and although we missed 'Team America', we caught 'Meet The Fockers' instead. It was okay... I mean it had its moments, but other than that it was a bit... average. Still, it was a nice change from the union.

This morning I was godamn lazy and stayed in bed 'til about five to twelve when I decided I should get in the shower before the house gets too freezing. I was quite impressed I was able to half-sleep for so long since the bin men were delivering our roads wheelie bins this morning. Bloody noisy that was. Ah well... roll on the wheelie bin races.... I also heard Dave playing guitar pretty loudly at one point. I didn't mind though because he's quite good and it was about half eleven at the time. Anyways, I'm off home for a few days today. It'll give Niall a chance to get some quality work done without me moaning about being bored all the time. Poor thing, he always bears the brunt of my moods! I've already decided on a trip into brum when I'm home so that'll be cool.

Votes for the profile pic have been a bit slow. Shame on you. You have another week then I have to decide but so far it's between 4 and 1 at a mere two votes each. Puh. Go on... select-a-mug....

Select-a-mug

Me Montage
Posted by Hello

I really couldn’t be bothered changing my profile pic over and over so you’ll have to vote for which ever of the above pics will stay on my profile via comments. If you care that is.

My ever growing ‘Slink’s Links’ has spurned a few more bloggers over the last few days. I’m so generous. I've also managed to mysteriously damage my left wrist from what I can only work out as an 'air injury'. I don't remember knocking it, spraining or twisting it but whatever I've done it's rendered my wrist completely useless. I bought a nice tight support bandage today so hopefully it'll get better before rock night on thursday. I also bought a new pair of boots but they won't be delivered for a while yet. Just to destroy what little cashflow I have left I also booked train tickets to go and visit the ladybug in Wrexham in two weeks time, for which I needed a new rucksack. Woohoo another weekend of drunken slinks and the bug. :)

Ho hum...

Too many doritos

Crikey, I can get through a packet of doritos waaaay too quickly these days.

I will be trying a series of new profile pics over next week to see which one I like best... so comment if you will on which I should stick with. But don't be mean please. Yeah Dave that means YOU too.

It's wierd how things can affect how you view yourself. I've frequently had my ego smashed to pieces by some pretty harsh comments and some complete idiots too, but these days I can swing so quickly from feeling... okayish about how I look, or at least not really thinking about it (normally when I'm indoors away from people... hmm this isn't sounding good..) to totally hating what I look like and getting real low. Niall has done so much to help me feel good about myself and I love him for it, I know I'm a better person for it but it's still not enough to stop the nasty things in my head kicking in every day. I just wish my head wasn't scarred with these awful comments and jibes about my physical appearance. No matter how much you try and ignore them, I seem to carry them around with me like they're permanantly burned into my head. Nothing makes these come alive more than feeling jealous of an attractive person; or some guys oggling a perfect lady; or how you hardly find any not-so-attractive women on tv or film; or some random person looking at me and going "ooh you're soo thin... ", why thanks for telling me, I wasn't aware of that; or some fat woman on tv saying how ugly thin women are and how we look unnatural, boyish and not beautiful, no beautiful is for "real women" apparently... now I know this is a response to years of thin being 'in', but turning it on its head and slagging off every skinny girl in sight with some godamn spiteful and awful comments is as fucked up as the other thing was.

Boo. :(

Anyways enough of that... apparantly Niall thinks I'm pretty so that's something. :)

I need a new band. I need that feeling I got when I first heard BoyHitsCar and was totally blown away. I want my head to explode again and find something new and distinctive that smacks me in the face and drenches me with relief from this godamn band-drought.

Gimme some music dammit!!!

Doin' 'Nowt

Man, I've been quiet this week. Only two posts so far. To be honest it's because I've had sod all to do for ages. Thursday I went into Nottingham with Niall. We ate in TGI Fridays because I'd never been there before. Expensive but not bad food. If you have a stomach the size of a house and a wallet to match, you'd love it. I was looking around for a new waspie and ultimately found the perfect one with studs down the middle but they didn't have my size. Damn me. Saved me some money though I suppose. Last night was rock night as per usual, and it was really busy for some wierd reason. I couldn't dance or bounce around though because I had a long skirt on which kept getting caught in my boots and my corset was pretty tight. A small section of it kept coming open though and revealing my belly which looked silly, so we left about half oneish. I had fun nonetheless as arthur made a rare appearance out and Mark was so very drunk, bless him.

This morning I had to put up my assessment show. It looked okay when I left so hopefully it's all still standing. I'm worried about my results. Fingers crossed. When I got back I had big plans to tidy, dust and vacuum my room but I promptly fell asleep. I still don't think I'm quite awake.

Doctors on monday. :-( Urgh.

The Lost Rosti

I've just been blatently accused of Rosti theft and quite frankly I'm extremely hurt and disgusted. The culprit will be punished. Severely.

Shmuck.

God, I'm bored.

Bored Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored.

I may as well have a small rant, if you don't mind, about how people try and make out I'm stupid for being an art student. So I'm more creative than academic, so I may not have the same intellectual capacity as Stephen Hawkin; I got good GCSE and A Level grades that I was pretty proud of the time. Just because I chose to do something creative using my skills for thinking, imagination and crafting doesn't make me stupid. I can take the jokes, I've had them from "academic" students since my college days.. but it gets to the stage where you just have to say "you know what? fuck you". These 'intellects' couldnt do my course for shit, it's intense and hard and they ask alot of you emotionally and physically. They scoff when I tell them what course I do like it's meaningless... for god's sake I don't do fine art. I illustrate, I communicate ideas through model making, photography, and digital imaging. I have the power and skills to promote, teach, inform, persuade, and attract through imagery and I'm proud of the fact that this is something that a) I can do and b) I enjoy doing. I could have done other things. I'm not brilliant at maths, I hated some of the sciences, but I could have got into biology or studying english. I'm not doing art because I'm some waster who can't do anything else. If you want pointless courses look at 'sociology' for christs sake. Just don't make out that I'm stupid whatever you think of my course, because if you hadn't guessed it's starting to piss me off.

Right, back to being bored.

Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored.

...Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Relax.

New Corset!

Woohoo my new corset arrived today :)

%!&£!(@~{!£*!! I wrote a whole post which then vanished. Stupid internet connection. Grrr.

Last night was cool. First rock night of 2005. I wore my favourite little skirt and a basque for a top. I thought I’d feel really conscious but on the contrary I didn’t feel remotely aware that I was wearing my underwear. Jonno said I looked ‘indecent’ so I can’t say that no ones ever called me that now. Boo. It was nice to see Jonjon again though. He made me laugh and kept pointing out blokes looking at my new red bra. Weird points of the night were a) two guys asking me to pose for a photo whilst holding a piece of paper saying ‘I’ve got worms’, and b) three trendies who swore blind they’d seen me before in Essex. Wierdo’s. I finally got ‘Closer’ by NIN to be played thanks to Rich the DJ but most of the best stuff was played later on in the night when most people had gone home. Rock night always suffers crowd-wise when exams or coursework deadlines are looming. I couldn’t care less as long as there’s some good mates around and decent music being played. My feet suffered slightly. I think my boots were telling me off for not wearing them for a few weeks. Poor boots, I shall never abandon them again.

Ooh, forgive me for sounding like a geek but my new printer is really cool. It’s not connected to my computer yet as I’m still waiting for a cable to arrive but I can print direct from my digital camera memory card. The printouts look just like photo’s from a lab and they’re borderless and everything! :O

What can I say? I get ‘wowed’ very easily.

I think I use the word ‘cool’ too much. I need a new word that sounds more interesting than ‘nice’ but not as flamboyant as ‘fabulous’, that’d be an over statement and would hype up the feeling too much. Hrm.

Mini me

A strange thing happened yesterday. My tutor didn't set me any projects. All I have to do between now and assessment next week is add a few finishing touches to models and do my report. Cool.

I ordered a new mini skirt yesterday. The item description was... "Tiny Mini: Simple - and short - very, very short". Thing is I got an email from the company saying:

Hi Slinks,

Thanks - will let you know as soon as we receive the skirt.

For your information the length of our standard Tiny Mini is 16"- we find that's about the shortest we can go to guarantee decency!

Regards

Just what about 16 inches is short?! That's about half my leg! I thought that was ridiculous and seeing as decency isn't a major concern for me when it comes to little skirts, I sent em an email back saying can they make it 12-13" instead. My shortest skirt is 11.5", I've never had any complaints about being 'indecent' and it's my favorite so stuff all that decency talk.

I also had to fork out 130 odd squids for a new printer since my other has gone bezerk and started bleeding lines of streaky black ink on print outs. And I'm not the only one... apparantly both Dave's and Mark's printers have died or are in the process of dying.

I smell a conspiracy.

Early Bird

I was up out of bed and in the shower by nine o'clock today and I didn't even have to go into the studio. How impressive is that? By eleven I had read through my critical report and printed all 22 pages off in draft ready to hand in. I also managed to do three crosswordy type things in between. Genius. So now it's 1.18 and I'm having a healthy(ish) lunch of a cheese toastie, some orange juice and an apple. Ooh I did sneak in a sausage roll and some grapes while waiting for my toastie.

I noticed this morning how the three guys I live with have almost as many toiletries as I do... The bathroom's full of hair gels, styling products, wierd creams and things in tubes with funny names. Granted I do have two sets of shampoo's, two razors (not that I'm super hairy or anything, one's I can use without shaving cream, the others a normal one) and loads of cleansing things, but yeah I was quite impressed with all the stuff in there belonging to the blokes. One of them, I've yet to find out who... even has a shower puff! For those who don't know that's a sponge type thing not a homosexual personal washer. My guess is Dave. Come on own up you big girl. Ah at least he's clean. Ish.

On a similar subject can anyone clarify the difference between normal head and shoulders and the head and shoulders for men?? They look and smell the same. Why do men need to be told it's okay to buy a relatively unisex shampoo? .... maybe it's because of people like me who write about their bathroom habits in blogs. Hrm. But still, if you're a secure enough male to go out and buy a shower puff... hell, you can buy some normal head and shoulders.

Chocolates

Good news. My dad's worked in Bourneville (the chocolate city) for years now and as Cadbury is one of his clients he's always got offered freebies and discounts at the staff shop. Today I found out that from February he'll be based actually within the cadburys premises. That can ONLY mean more freebies, more discounts and basically more chocolate for me. Also it's dairy milks centenary year this year. Dairy Milk is 100 years old. (Don't know what I'd have done without it). They've turned all the offices purple by shining big purple lights on them. I love bourneville. I'd happily live there for a long long time. All the train station and street lights are purple and if the winds in the right direction you can smell chocolate in the air. Beautiful.

I'd like to point out I've done absolutely nothing today. I got up at one, ate food, played bejewelled 2 for about two hours, spoke to my mum and ... well thats about it. I should be doing some work, seeing as I'm meant to be handing stuff in on tuesday. Ah well. On the plus side I turned down the chance to buy some kickass boots for £30 on a last chance ebay offer... feeeeeeeeeel the will power. I also played with the idea of changing my picture in my profile but couldn't find a decent one so that'll have to do. I'm determined to take more photo's of things and people this semester, especially since it's my last one ever........ :O

Christ, where's the whiskey....

Wallop.

Talk about omens. The very mili-second we drove past the "welcome to *crap uni town*" my body reacted with a burp. When unpacking my computer broke and had to be taken back home for repair and today I fell down the stairs and cracked my head on the wall. It's down hill from now on. Though I did complete all my 'appliances' models today. I must admit I like my monster truck style barbeque. One more weekend to go until things get serious course wise; final drafts get handed in and final projects have to be started, chuck in an external assessment and planning our exhibition etc. urgh. On the plus side I have a cupboard FULL of christmas chocolate to help me through it all.

My new corset hasn't arrived yet. I'm feeling the pull of Nottingham to go shopping again, though I really can't afford it now all my christmas money's been spent. Though it is only 77 days until my birthday. :)

Bang.

Something has shifted between us
A bitter rift an ocean wide
A gift with no heart, no care, no thought
our built up world reduced to nought
Not long until your plan's complete
Not long until I'm shift, alt, delete.

I wrote that while testing out a pen from a cracker.

Anyways, Ireland was ok. Got over meeting endless amounts of aunties and uncles in Niall's family. All in all I had a nice time and the flight wasn't too bad either. New year was also nice even though I stayed in this year. The total cost of the night was .... £O and I still managed to get happily tipsy. My Mom and Dad were tipsy too which was hilarious. I haven't seen much of my mates this hols which is a shame, everyone's vanishing to different places and stuff, plus no one's actually got any money to spend.

I really really REALLY do not want to go back to uni. Partly because there's only 12 weeks until we finish up for good and partly because I hate the place. Still, be nice to see certain folks again. Mark's been naughty and not updated his blog for about two months. Slacker. :-P. Also be nice to get back to rock night since I haven't been able to afford to go to edwards. :-( Aaaah edwards.... how I love thee. I need a rock night of sorts to show off all my new gear... Mom and Dad got me a gorgeous long skirt and a bright red lacey top, plus I've ordered a spanking new corset and a buccanear top. Woohoo! I'm off into Brum for a final time tomorrow. I've got to get Niall a pressie for our one year anniversary. One whole year. That's a long time for me. But it feels nice. :-). Crikey, the smiley things are coming in thick and fast in this post. I need to pop into the Oasis too... well obviously to pick up some more clothes money permitting and oggle at all the amazing kinky boots that I can't afford.

I wana know why loads of people keep dying. There's all this horrible tsunami stuff, plus three people in my family died in one week. My love goes out to the Williamses too for losing their nana too. It's sad.

x