Christmas 2013

I think the below video best sums up my Christmas and New Year.

It's been fantastic: Some much MUCH needed time off work spent with friend and family, including my little neice, bro and sister in law on Skype. I've caught up with family I don't see much and got to spend time with the people I care about most. It's been just brilliant.



New Years eve was spent at the new flat with a small selection of friends.  Most importantly for me- Markuus and his partner Jo came over; and N also spent the evening with us so it was lovely to spend it with some of my favourite people. :-)

The only sad thing is that's it's all flown by so fast... I've barely had time to think up any resolutions and now this week I have suddenly found myself back at work in an almost zombie-like stupor trying to remember what my job is.

Resolutions coming up...

Christmas Eve Eve; 2013 Reflections

I'm sitting in my slippers, watching A Christmas Carol on TV.  It's Christmas Eve Eve and I finished work today for the rest of the week. 

It's normally this time of the year when I'm doing a review of the year and compiling some New Years Resolutions, but I'm feeling a distinct lack of energy to do either. Plus, I'm not sure summarising my year will be all that eventful this time!

However... now I think back...

Things I have lost: 

Some friends. Not in a physical sense, they're alive and well.  People change, people move on and some people you realise really aren't worth your time and energy. Those who mean a lot to me, remain, however. Even if I don't see them as much as I would like. Thank you for your continued friendship to Mrs P, Markuus, and my dear N who I will always love with all my heart.

Money- a lot has been thrown away on copious drinking, nights out and shoes... but all in all I have some memories of happy times such as motor racing with N and many a post-working-week-debriefing drinks down the local.

My twenties- A heart felt goodbye to my twenties; bittersweet as I lay to rest many fun and happy memories of my youth interspersed with the anxiety, insecurity, angst and heartache that goes along with it.

Things I have gained:

New friends. 
New flat. 
My independence back. 
Strength and Tone from my gym workouts.
Perspective.
A whole new decade ahead of me as I entered my thirties.
New gig experiences- Deftones, Bastille and the amazing Nine Inch Nails... memories of the latter I will treasure forever. Two more ticks off on my "Bands to See Before I Die" list. 

A review of my 2013 Resolutions:

Resolution 1: Be more active.
Achieved. I'm still going to the gym about twice a week and generally feeling better for it; although I certainly notice the difference when I don't go.

Resolution 2: Be less angry.
Semi- Achieved. I'm not sure this has happened... if it has it's more by the ever-so-slightly decreased invasion of the Government impacting on my job and colleagues. I think this year has been more stressful than angry so I'm saying this is semi-achieved.

Resolution 3: Laugh more.
Achieved. I have certainly laughed a lot this year.  I have a graffiti'd piggy bank on my desk at work which says "Just Keep Larfin" thanks to my colleague Daz who decorated it for me and says I say the word Laugh posh.  He's from the Black Country.

Resolution 4: Be Inspired.
Semi- Achieved.  I've been to the cinema, seen films at home and been to gigs this year which have all been inspiring to me. However I need to get out more next year and see more places.  I've spend too much time in the office this year... I need inspiration from nature and new cities next year (money permitting).

Resolution 5: Be more creative.
Semi-Achieved. I failed to get my new tattoo thanks to money issues, however I have one planned for my birthday in 2014.  I've done more sculpture commissions this year and have two lined up for the beginning of next year.  To be continued. 

Resolution 6: Blog more.
Achieved. This has definitely been achieved.

Resolution 7: Feel settled.
Not achieved. Work in progress.  I think I know what I need to be happy- companionship.  At the moment I'm at a loss as to where to find this.


2014 Resolutions to be posted soon. 

Belong.

I've just caught up on a few weeks of blog-reading and thought it was probably time to update my own.

The truth being told- much has changed but I've avoided posting anything for some time for a few reasons: 1- I have been incredibly busy.  2- I had no internet access for a few weeks. 3- some issues I've had I felt best not to air in the public realm (aka- if you can't say anything nice, say nothing at all).

I've moved into a flat with my friend and colleague H.  It's not quite home yet, pictures still need to be hung.  If I'm honest it all feels very temporary. But I think everything does now.  Everything.

It's Christmas and I've been very disorganised this year.  Moving in at the start of November proved very expensive so I think Christmas has been somewhat tainted by a general worry about money this year.  The last few weeks have been busy. Both at work and socially.... genuinely too much to list but it's been a blur of funerals, tears, too much drink, too much work, stress and laughs.  I'm writing this hours before my fourth and final Christmas work do this year. I'm not sure my feet or my liver can cope with many more!

I'm still going to the gym albeit the last few weeks have been hard to find time to fit anything worth while in.  Slacking.

I generally feel very tired.. I'm always tired these days.  I don't work long hours like others but I give 110% to a job where I get paid averagely for the effort I put in.  My priority next year is to get a new job and possibly outside of the Force so I don't have to be quite so worried about being made redundant every few months. In addition to work stress, I don't sleep well.  I have two Zopiclone on ration for when I really REALLY need to sleep but generally I think I've gotten used to feeling semi tired on a daily basis.

I'm struggling with Christmas this year.  It seems to have lost its meaning, like many things have to be honest. Recent events have put certain things in perspective and I am lucky to have my health, my family and a sprinkling of friends who genuinely care, however all this is clouded by a general feeling of not belonging anywhere.

This is the trouble with Christmas.  It's great if you're happy;  If you aren't it's like a giant microscope magnifying everything you're missing in full focus...

So you just smile and grab another drink.

Hurt.

 

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way.

The Big News.

I have been dropping clues in my titles the last few blog posts as to what my big news is...

This is going to massively underwhelm (is that possible- to MASSIVELY underwhelm?) a lot of people... however, those who know me well will appreciate why this news is big. To me.

Something life changing occured.  And all I have to show for it both before and after will be a bit of paper. 

There are a few bands that I love... those that leap out as all time favourites are the likes of Radiohead (seen them twice), The Deftones (seen once), System of a Down (seen once).  There's a few others I HAVE to see before I die- A Perfect Circle or Puscifer to complete my TOOLkit (gettit??? lol) and of course... the amazing ... Nine Inch Nails.

I missed them many years ago, I think it was my first year of Uni when they last toured and I missed them perform in Birmingham.  I idiotically only realised they were playing on the day they performed and couldn't go.  This year, they're performing at Reading and Leeds, and I was toying with the idea of paying a stupid amount of money on a day ticket, a hotel and a very long car journey to see them.  This would have cost me well over £200 all in.  HOWEVER, they are ALSO playing in a tiny little town called Belfast in August... and I've ONLY BLOODY WELL GONE AND GOT TICKETS!!!!
Fuck.  I am RIDICULOUSLY excited about this.  It's meant a hotel and flights, but even with the tickets it's cost about £130.  This is a lot, however, this gig is going to be epic for me.

There's been a few gigs where I've just experienced absolute awe.  I was immersed in it standing in front of Martin Grech, and the times I saw Radiohead and System of a Down, even Tool, ... I've just been completely, utterly in awe, almost on a complete other plain as I just breathe in and absorb the gig experience.  Trent Reznor is like the Pope is to Catholics, without the paeodophilia, corruption, obscene hyppocrisy and religion.  He is more than that, a genius, everything he touches turning to liquidy, ear-nectar.  I can well imagine this gig is going to be one of those momentous gigs that I will never forget. 

The gig is on the 21st of August. I'm counting down the days via the below worm...

Exclusive: Slink Captured on Film in Natural Habitat.

The awesome KTP has put together a fab little video of my birthday celebrations at my favourite rock club, Eddies, back in March.  It just makes me smile and I wanted to share it here too:

I can't stop grinning after watching it.  I love that there is a cluster of songs that will ALWAYS always be etched on my soul and bind me with some absolutely amazing friends and some equally amazing times at Uni.  Despite these moments getting further and further into the past, the effect these songs has on each one of us will always spark memories of happy times.  I love it.  It's priceless.  :-)

I'm still waiting to be given the all clear so I can return to work.  I have an appointment tomorrow where I'm hoping to be booked back fit. If not, I'll have to wait until my sick note runs out on Friday.  I just want to get back to the normal drudgery of work now, I miss it!

General Waste.

HAHA!

I just realised- my dear friend Miss P included me in a top 5 blog list a few days ago so anyone directed to my blog from her wonderful link would have been confronted by my Fuck You- From a Blonde post.  Probably not the best first impression! :-D

What news what news I hear you ask...

Well, I have been working hard both at work and in the gym.  My little muscle is coming along nicely- I even went up a free weight size last night so even though it's still tiny weights, it's all progress in the right direction.  I am still enjoying it and want to see a bit more of an improvement in my general cardio strength and fitness before I start running.  My legs are already feeling much stronger, though I've not managed to find a combat class at a suitable time to join yet but this is hopefully going to be my next thing.  :-)

My car naming skills have reached new heights- I am now getting requests for my naming abilities by the fabulous Miss P herself!!!  I'm starting to feel like one of those spiritual guides who can read cars...!

Speaking of cars- I have a confession.  The long and short of it is that I spent £200 on car products. :-S ... I know what you're thinking... Nutbag.  Yeah that's what I thought too. 
So as you know my little Franko is matt black, this makes him both awesome and a great big freaking pain in the arse to clean, but mostly awesome.   I have to buy a special shampoo for matt black paint which costs £30 a bottle from a rather lovely little company called Swissvax.  Well, I decided to buy some new shampoo and some wax from them as they're the only company who care enough for my little Franko's sensitive skin.. I mean.. paint.  SOOO, I ended up buying shampoo, wax, some new cloths which looked rather nice... and then some pre-cleaner for the wax, and the cloths that went with it, and some wax pads.  And before I knew it... it was £203 right there in the cyber basket! A lot I know... but I won't have to buy much more for him for a looong time, and he WILL look fabulous for it.  And it's an investment, looking after his paintwork which will hopefully sell him in the future if it's looked after properly... sounds a good enough excuse anyway! I'll let you know how I get on with the wax when I pluck up the courage to use it.  I might just add that this wax smells freakin AMAZING.  I want to eat it.  Not only will Franko look amazing, he will smell amazing too. Yeah baby.

I've spent the last two weekends working on a small cake topper commission.  It's been a welcome return to doing something creative.  I've also managed to pick up a new wedding cake commission from work which I've got booked in to start at the end of June.  Can't wait!

I have mostly been listening to Skrillex this week and eating Jaffa Cakes. 

Good news also - I have sourced THREE more tubs of my mint ice cream.  WOOT! Spring can now commence.

Gym and Chocolate Bars.

So last week, I was spontaneously bought two chocolate bars- one from an alleged sex pest who bought me a big galaxy bar from the Asda Ooops! section marked down TWICE to 25p then 20p; and one from a new chum of mine who is like an intriguing cross between The Mad Hatter and Christopher Walken.  Day one into the week and I have already been bought a big bag of Cadburys Caramel Nibbles- this time by a nice chap and new chum who was thanking me for the nice, hot cup of tea I had waiting for him following his meeting.  Score!!!

In stark contrast to this increase in chocolate-y goodness, I have been going to the gym now a couple of times a week for the past two and a half weeks.  I have found a new love for Rowing which I really seem  to enjoy as it doesn't tire me out too quickly but gives both my arms, legs and lungs a decent enough work out.  I'm also becoming more confident at using the various weight bearing machines to build up my muscles and strength.  All in all, I am really enjoying it.  I just want my overall fitness to improve so I can really get stuck in- at the moment I have a few concerns with my heart rate which will hopefully get better with time.  I miss punching though and am hoping to enrol on a combat class in the coming weeks. 

This reminds me- Following Friday in the gym, I had a night in watching Silver Linings Playbook on Saturday night.  It was a good film, despite a few concerns to the contrary at the start, but during the first half hour of the film, I noticed my heart rate was racing.  I ignored it at first, but I started to get concerned when I felt really short of breath.  Trying not to worry, I timed my pulse and my heart rate was a whopping 95 beats per minute- RESTING!!!! I was getting worried when an hour into the film, my heart rate hadn't decreased, and I decided that I may need to get on the phone to NHS direct to ask for some advice or seek medical help.... 

....  It then dawned on me- that beneath my skinny jeans, I had on my thickest,winter-iest, super-warm, woolley tights. 

Genius.  I'd been sitting there effectively cooking myself for an hour and a half, panicking that I was having some sort of heart failure, when in fact I was just hot.  Oh god, can you imagine the ambulance men turning up with the defibrillator to find me sat there in a jumper, and woolley tights UNDER my skinny jeans like a loon.  Once, removed, I was thoroughly relieved to find that my heart rate decreased to a far more manageable and less worrying 70 bpm. 

It really is a wonder how I've lasted 30 years. 

Semi-Charmed Kinda Life.

One of my earliest memories is of me spending hours looking at my Mum's charm bracelet. I remember it as a big, chunky, treasure of silver which used to jangle a lot.  I would love looking at all the tiny details on each individual charm and hearing my Mum tell me the story behind it- where the charm was bought and for what occasion.  Some of the charms opened- she was bought a little church one when she got married, which opened to reveal a tiny little silver bride and groom inside.  I loved it- and it still sits in my Mum's jewellery box.  It's full of stories and memories, and paints a picture of my Mum's personality and life in tiny little silver pendants.

 

I was bought a charm bracelet for my 20th birthday and it was soon filled with little charms that summed me up perfectly.  It's a beautiful thing and whilst I don't wear it often in fear of losing some of them, I would be devastated if I ever lost it.  I love that it is unique to me, the places I've been, the things I love and find funny.  There's a little camera, artist pallet and handcuffs (bought before I joined the Police I might add!); there's also a spider on a web to mark my insane fear of spiders and a pumpkin containing a tiny mouse, because of my love for Halloween and Tim Burton.  There's a squirrel (Uni chums will get this), a graduation charm, a pirate flag, a chequered flag for my love of motor racing and a little Shakespeare as people who know me well know I love Stratford Upon Avon on a sunny day in Summer.  There are charms from the Peaks, Lakes and Cornwall denoting some of my favourite places in the UK. There is also a butterfly- a symbol for something that only about three people in my life know about.  My old bracelet is shown below in the first two pictures.

 

 

My charm bracelet has been full up for about five years.  While my Mum's was filled slowly over many years, mine was filled in about five, such is my love for completing things I've started!

However, this year for my thirtieth, my work colleagues clubbed together to get me a new charm bracelet- one of the new Pandora charm bracelets, shown in contrast in the last picture. 
The style of these bracelets are far more commercial and slightly less unique; Pandora shops are all the same, carrying the same stock and there's no little pirate ships or pumpkins- the old style charms you can pick up from quirky little jewellers and you can always find ones you've never seen before, even now, if you know where to look. I actually love that I've been bought a new one to start a new chapter.  Perhaps this one will be filled more steadily, and while the charms may be slightly less unique, each one will have a meaning as to when they were bought, by whom etc.  More subtle maybe, more understated as I guess my thirties may be- and that's no bad thing either!

Here's to a new chapter of charms.  :)

Little Muscles.

Yesterday I went for my first proper gym session.  I didn't want to over do it so I took things relatively gently for my first evening, especially considering I've barely done any exercise for nearly a year!

I started with 15 minutes on the exercise bike covering a steadily paced 6km.  I then got introduced to some of the weights machines and did some work on arms and shoulders, but it was mainly walking round testing out different machines.  I managed a measly 25 sit-ups after using the stomach crunchy machine which BURNED... and then I went back to some cycling for 20 minutes this time working lower legs instead of upper.  I finished up with some triceps work but my right shoulder started to really hurt as it's extremely weak.  I also got very hungry very quickly and with my history of dodgy blood sugar issues and fainting bouts, I decided I should go and rehydrate.  I was craving bread/crackers and ice cream so I had some when I got back.  Probably not the best thing to do after a work out but what my body wants- it gets!

I feel good about it.  It's going to be good for me. :-)

Hello Thirties!

Well, here I am blogging from the ripe old age of 30 and two days! Whilst I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact I've already used up half my time off work, my two days of being thirty haven't been too shabby!

I received this wonderful little beast for my birthday. He's an HP Envy X2 which is a convertible tablet/laptop.  He comes with Windows 8 and so far I'm loving it! The little compartments are perfect for my organised brain; everything is easy to hand and in the right place.  It doesn't come with a great deal of storage as it's only a mini PC by all accounts, however considering I only really use my laptop for internet access anyway, I'm pretty happy this is going to replace it nicely.

 

In addition to this, I have been given money to spend on the obligatory accessories for the above! I bought Windows Office for it and finally managed to download it successfully after Microsoft managed to block three separate bank cards and screw up three transactions.  Idiots. Still, he's all up and running and I'm using him now to blog this very post! Looking forward to getting his case through the post so that he can be fully mobile!

 

I have also been treated to a years Gym membership at Virgin Health club, which I am both chuffed and slightly nervous about! It's perfect for me in order to complete my Resolution to be more active.  Come the first of April, there'll be no more excuses not to get there and get fit.  It couldn't have come at a better time.  I also received two tickets to see Derren Brown in May! Woot!

 

I was treated to a beautiful meal at Malmaison in Birmingham which started with Mal Lollipops (Tempura Prawn, Marinated Chicken, Tai Fishcake, Tai Pork and Crab Spring Roll- all on handy sticks!) with dipping sauces; followed by Coq au Vin with potato and turnip gratin and purple broccoli; finishing with Mal-athon bar slices with Milk Ice Cream completed with a truly delectable Black Forest Cocktail.  It was simply devine... with some truly lovely company to boot; I couldn't have had a better thirtieth birthday evening. :-)

 

I have a busy week lined up- with more birthday celebrations tomorrow when I meet some work colleagues in town for cocktails, champagne and another slap up meal on Wednesday; and then drinks on Thursday with a friend;  a haircut, visit to Jamies Italian and the Electric on Friday and the finale is on Saturday night for drinks with chums in Brum and then onto Eddies which will conclude my week long birthday celebrations.

 

BOOM. :-)

Goodbye Twenties!!!

Today marks the last day of my twenties. 

It's a big deal actually- and since most of my plans have been wrecked by the Snow Storms I'll be opting to celebrate the start of a new era, rather than mourn the loss of the last one by enjoying all my birthday celebrations over my week off, culminating in a big night out next Saturday.

My twenties have been eventful from the get go.  I entered my twenties in complete uncertainty having just finished a brilliant year studying my Art BTEC Diploma at college.  This is the year that I think cemented who I am, what I'm about and defined me.  Following this, I started my first year at University in my twentieth year. I started blogging shortly after starting uni, my first post being in 2004, in my second year- so much of this blog has seen my through some of the toughest, and also the most awesome times of my life.

I think I've managed to stave off any huge fears about turning 30.  It is, afterall, just a number and most of the time people don't believe that I'm anywhere near that age anyway so hopefully I don't have to be reaching for the wrinkle cream just yet!  It's more the fact that I still feel very unsettled and aren't all that sure where I am going.  I think this may be something I always feel, and so this too, doesn't scare me as much as it used to.  Friends and family are settling down, getting married and boring the fuck out of me on facebook with countless photographs and updates about their babies... so times are definitely changing.  It does feel different, but I don't think my expectations of myself have changed.  I've spoken to a number of women who say that their thirties became a time for knowing exactly who they were, what they believed in and what they wanted.  Well, I already have the first two nailed but I certainly and hopefully welcome a time of greater scecurity in myself, my believes and perhaps more importantly my body.  This is an issue I've struggled with long before my twenties started- however the idea that my thirties could be the age that I finally feel comfortable in my skin is a welcome one.

Goodbye to my twenties, goodbye youth!
I've opened the door... the big 3 0 is on it's way in.

Numbers.

Just half a day left until I get a WHOPPING ELEVEN days off work. 

I have been having half days all this week, finishing work at ONE pm to try and use up some flexi leave I've built up.  But after tomorrow- I get a whole week and two days off work.  My birthday on Monday which I will spend with my best friend.  Then I have the whole week to enjoy, culminating in a birthday weekend on the 30th March where I'm hoping my bessie mates and work colleagues will join me in celebrating me becoming old. 

Sadly I have to spend part of it looking up insurance quotes- major bad timing having to renew your car insurance round your birthday, however, on the upside my birthday is also PAYDAY! WOOP.

I can NOT believe I'm 30 on Monday.  It feels BIG.  Important.  And right now, I'm ready for it.  :-)

(Can you fill the silence?)

 

Bastille 09.03.13

It's been a while since I walked through Digbeth; a place of potholed streets and shabby chic, where the indie scene breathes through vintage shops and traditional crumbly brick pubs.  It was here I joined a queue of inappropriately dresssed young people to see Bastille.  I'd like to point out that although I am close enough to my disappearing youth to remember being 16, I am now old enough to appreciate an adequate number of layers when it's freezing outside.  I don't, therefore, consider wearing a coat to a gig at which I have to queue outside for about 40minutes to be too much of a hardship even if I do have to carry it while I'm in there. 

Once in the warmth of The (HMV) Institute, I joined the small crowd gathering near the stage.  It was only when the first distinctly average, but not overly offensive support act started to play that I realised I was stuck standing behind the worlds tallest man.  By the time the second act had started- a carbon copy of Florence and The Machine- again, not rubbish but entirely forgettable because it had all been done before, I realised I was standing next to a woman whose posterior seemed to have a circumference of saturns rings. At one point, she started dancing and if I hadn't been wedged in, I'm pretty sure I'd have been bounced out of the venue and back to the Bullring. 

The Tall Giant man kindly moved aside and I squeezed in to see the stage for the first time for Bastille's hour long set.  I've been a fan of theirs since I heard Flaws just over a year ago on Alex Baker's Kerrang show.  I have him to thank for Maybshewill and Awolnation also.  I think I have all their music, two albums being released for free by the band despite the sound quality being poor.  I'm always appreciative of originality in music wether I like it or not, especially these days because it's so rare.  I remember being struck by Bastille because I couldn't lable them, I couldn't fit them to a genre, and still can't really.  Their love of rythmn really speaks to me and as such I've been a fan of theirs from the get go.  I had been worried that Bastille wouldn't live up to my expectations live since they rely on a lot of digital layers but my concerns were proved wrong immediately.  On the contrary, they sounded fantastic and didn't disappoint.  They played an absolutely blinding set and I was glad to have caught them at a time when they were still humbled and dumbfounded by their newfound fame and success.  They struck me as down to earth and genuine.  It was even nice to see Dan's amazingly upright hair gradually flatten throughout the night.  A truly great night... with each song played met with mass enthusiasm from a young crowd.  I was just really pleased for them and happy to see truly fresh, creativity in the heart of Birmingham. 

 

"It is not enough to be dumbstruck"

Take Me To The Edge.

Last night I finally got to experience one of my Christmas presents- tickets to see The Deftones in Birmingham.

 

Despite my cold and infected lungs, we weren't out in the cold too long queuing up for our balcony seats.  Annoyingly you can't join the O2 priority queue for balcony seats- it would see O2 only think you're worth prioritising if you're willing to stand up and at my old age of nearly-30, these days I opt for a safe corner room or seats instead of the mosh pit.  We had good seats directly facing the stage and the nice size of the O2 arena made it feel close yet a safe distance from the crowd. 

Not all that far away from us was sat a little old lady with white hair and glasses.  On noticing this lovely, open-minded old lady, I'd already used the words "youngsters", "coats" and "what language is he singing in?" for the support act, 27 year old nutbags Let Live, so I was feeling like a right granny.  And yet, sitting just down the aisle from us, was this wonderful lady.  I want to be like her when I'm her age.  I have no doubt she is the Gran of one of the support acts or something, but still, for her to be open-minded enough to even enter a venue like that is incredible. 

The gig itself was superb.  Highlights being, Change, Passenger and My Own Summer (obviously).  Looking down onto the crowd it's always hard not to miss the pit- each silhouetted little head halo'd by the stage lighting, arms raised, waves of movement as people got lost in the sounds and energy.  Still, I got to enjoy the music without overheating, losing anything, being paranoid about getting robbed and without any injuries. :)

I had one of those moments during Riviere... you know what I mean seasoned gig-goers... just one of those moments where you just feel... awe.  And memories.  And peace. And loads of emotions all at once... like everything is perfect within one song.  Like you're surrendering your soul to the music completely.  Words are never quite fitting for moments like those; it's almost impossible to describe.

There were some songs that I wished they'd played- Back to School, You've Seen The Butcher, Digital Bath, Knife Party.  The latter however, spark intense emotion in me on record let alone live. All in all though, an incredibly energetic setlist which packed a heavy punch.  Just AWESOME. 

Crashland. Radioactive.

One of the most beautiful and apt songs from last year.  This will always be my 2012 song.

 

And... this one... this is my 2013 song.  "I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones" ...

Resolutions Update

As the first month of 2013 draws to a frosty and foggy close, I thought it was about time I had a Resolution update:

Resolution 1: Be more active. hmmm. Not happening as of yet thanks to the cold and snow.  My aims though are to start doing my nightly situps again, to go for jogs/runs and look into Boxercise classes.

Resolution 2: Be less angry.
I am no longer watching provocative debate shows which always fuelled my rage.  I need to try not to rise to the bait.

Resolution 3: Laugh more.
I need more comedy!

Resolution 4: Be Inspired.
Yes! Films. And I'm reading again too. When I finish Mark Kermode's book I will be reading Neil Gaiman, Sylvia Plath, Christopher Hitchin and Derren Brown books which I have waiting.

Resolution 5: Be more creative.
I have a commission on the books already and I am still working on the new tattoo.  Thinking Eastern Pheonix or a dragon as a tribute to my fictional heroine Lisbeth Salander. A reminder not to take any shit from men is always good for the soul. 

Resolution 6: Blog more.
Done and done!

Resolution 7: Feel settled.
Work in progress.  I have the knowledge now and I feel less afraid of cutting out parts of my life that lead nowhere but misery and negativity. I know what I DON'T want. Now to know what I DO.

One.

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”
Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey


And at least now I know those who are worth it, and those that aren't. :-)

Snow Joke...

My office move is complete and not only was today my first drive to my new Station, this was my first time driving in snow.

It was NOT nice.

This morning wasn't too bad. There was a light covering on paths but the newly gritted roads were fine for driving on.  I got to work at 7.30 with no trouble at all. 

However, by 9am, the snow had mounted.  By 12 o'clock the snow was probably about 15cm deep and a message from HQ was sent to say that all none operational staff were being sent home.  This was it- my first drive in snow.  It. Was. Horrible. 

My route home contains hills- fairly steep hills at that, and of course if I could get up them- I also had to get back down.  The roads through Walsall centre were fairly okay, it was only once I reached the main crossroads that it all started to get interesting.  Although painfully snow, I got through the town centre and up the first hill without any trouble.  I was feeling quite proud of myself so far in fact- pulling off in second gear, taking the down slope in first and the journey was going fairly smoothly though I was panicking behind the wheel.  However, I wasn't even half way home and this three mile stretch had taken me about 35 minutes.  My normal commuting times is 25-30 minutes! The roads after the first hill had gotten progressively worse in that time, and when I finally reached hill challenge two I could feel Franko's tyres slipping slightly.  I stayed calm, reduced speed and brought him some pretty awsome (if I do say so myself) clutch skills to control it going up the hill.  Hill three, was lurking about 10 minutes round the bend an I started to see my first people skidding around and cars stopping at the side of the road.  I navigated the down slope of hill three pretty perfectly, passing a number of people struggling to get up on the other side.  The next hour, involved painfully slow, ankle aching clutch use as poor little Franko drove along at 15mph maximum.  Hill four was all downhill and here I felt my ABS kick in.  Skidding just feels awful- you feel the car being pulled in opposite directions but it's good how much of your driving instinct kicks in and you just do what you need to whilst bearing in mind all the advice and tips for winter driving.  The last hour was the worst.  The roads were just treacherous and I was getting really hungry and thirsty. People were skidding, sliding and I felt like little Franko was struggling to keep in an adequate gear for the inclines and grip. Aside from the odd Wanker, most drivers were sensible and took it pretty easy.

The snowier side roads close to home were actually moderately better and provided some welcome grip from the slush I'd been sliding in for two hours.  I pulled in and covered up Franko in his snow blanket. He did pretty well considering he's just a little 1.2. :-)  I'm considering investing in some Snow Socks for him.

I have rarely been so relieved to just get back home in the warmth. It took just over two hours.  I'm proud of myself for managing to get home safely though I have to admit to feeling incredibly anxious the whole time.

Stay safe out there folks! Where's my cuppa....

2013

And here we are in 2013. 

I'll be waving goodbye to my little neice, my brother and sister-in-law on Friday ( sadtimes), and along with it I will be waving goodbye to 2012 (and all the nastiness that went with it-).

My resolutions for the year as highlighted by my end of 2012 review plus a few extras will be as follows:

Resolution 1: Be more active.
Self explanatory!

Resolution 2: Be less angry.
Spending less time watching infuriating tv programs on politics and debates on religion. 
Find more time watching things that make me laugh and inspire me.

Resolution 3: Laugh more.
As above- watch more tv that makes me laugh; spend time with people who make me laugh.

Resolution 4: Be Inspired.
Be inspired by sights, sounds (gigs), comedy, theatre etc.

Resolution 5: Be more creative.
Find time for photographs, projects, clay work, sketch books and ink pens. Obtain a new tattoo!  

Resolution 6: Blog more.
Find time for more blogging perhaps to monitor the success of these resolutions!

Resolution 7: Feel settled.
Sort out what I need to be happy and chase it.  It won't happen over night and it won't happen by keeping everything the same.

I'm already getting off to a good start with Resolution 4: Be Inspired as I received two pairs of gig tickets for the Deftones and Bastille gigs in January and February. Absolutely STOKED about those. The new tattoo will also be either a dragon or a chinese style phoenix I think but this is still a work in progress. 

Despite the governments best efforts, despite the knobheads I am bound to encounter, I hope that this year will be a happier one.  For everyone. Except anyone who upset me last year of course- you can go do one.  :-)