Buckle Up.

What. A. Week.

Monday was my first day in my new job.  Talk about being thrown in at the deep end.  As is typical of my organisation I literally rocked up on my first day, nervous as hell and was handed some numbers and told to pretty much get on with it.  Fortunately there is another girl doing the same role who was equally as bewildered as I was.  When I was taken to my first meeting on Monday afternoon expecting to have prepared a report and be able to deliver it to the meeting, I pretty much felt like I'd made a massive mistake in leaving the comfort  and familiarity of my old team.  As it turned out, there had been a cock up and the meeting was actually scheduled for that morning so I managed to escape certain embarrassment by delivering to a meeting that I had NO idea about. 

Tuesday got worse, and I winded up emailing the Sgt who was overseeing the roll out of our jobs to different sectors to complain that we had effectively been left to do a job without any training or preparation.  It fell on deaf ears, and Tuesday night I got home and cried, wanting to re-apply for my old job.

However, I think the breakdown did me good and cleared my head a little.  Wednesday saw a slight improvement as I embraced the uncertainty and focussed on the good points of the role which include actually having just one job to focus on.  On Thursday I delivered to my first conference and the feedback was that I sounded professional and precise which was amazing considering how nervous I felt. 

I feel better about it... I think it will improve as I settle and feel more comfortable in the role.  I need a few more meetings under my belt to get me used to the way they work.  I know at some point there is going to be a confrontation due to the sensitive nature of the meeting, so that will be a new and challenging aspect to the role that I haven't experienced yet.  Can't say I'm looking forward to that aspect but it's part and parcel of the work and can only improve the skills I already have. 

The new job has been the sandwich filling nestled firmly between two large, soft and wonderfully tasty slices of awesomeness this week.  On Monday night I went to see Extreme, straight after work, and having had ZERO sleep.  Rock. AND. Roll.  Extreme's 90's hair metal classic album Pornograffiti is one of the albums of my childhood- and yes I am aware how inappropriate that sounds - however the music itself is amazing, cheesy as hell, but amazing-feel-good cheese which warms my soul.  I know every detail of the album inside out and one of my memories of it is playing it at my 7/8th birthday party much to the bemusement of my7/8 year old, flowery dress-adourned party invitees.  Awesome.  They were aging, but brilliant.  As a 25th anniversary tour of the album, they played the FULL thing in its entirety.  Nuno still looks FIT AS, despite approaching 50.  Brilliant, I honestly haven't felt as happy as I did when I was singing away to "Hole Hearted" and I pretty much think I was mesmerised at one point by Nuno's solo- skills. Unbelieveble.  And he makes it look so easy.

At the other end of the week - Friday night I went to see The Penguin Café Orchestra which again, is another childhood musical experience.  The music reminds me of my Dad, and brings back so many cherished and happy memories of sitting as a family in the lounge, chatting, laughing and listening to the music all together.  The concert was at The Lichfield Cathedral which couldn't have been a more acoustically perfect setting for the music.  It sounded beautiful and just made my soul feel content and relaxed and happy.  I'd seen them once before, and possibly preferred their first offering in terms of content, however I love how the guy who now runs the orchestra is the son of the original founding member, and he recalls how the music relates to his childhood from the time when I too remember first hearing it all.  The parallels are as wonderfully fitting to me as the music is to it's own individual themes and concepts. 

After such an emotionally charged and stressful week I've taken this weekend off any sculpture projects to recharge my batteries.  Saturday was spent catching up with my two besties, N and Markuus, at the Fuse festival in Lichfield which consisted of sitting in a field drinking strawberry cider in the sunshine and listening to a number of acoustic sets and some good old fashioned sea shanties.

Today I've come to Nottingham to see family as I've spent so many of the last few weekends working on sculptures and commissions that I've not seen my Grandparents in months.  Time is precious, and so I've ensured today is spent in their company.  A roast is being prepared, and I look forward to spending an hour or two round the dinner table listening to my Grandad recount old stories and tales from his past, many of which I've heard before... but that I love hearing again and again nonetheless.

:-) Happy.

Hurt.

 

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way.

A Film in the Sunshine.

Last night my friend H and I went to Brum to catch an outdoor film showing of Breakfast At Tiffany's. It was a free event in the lovely Brindley Place and the organisers handed out bean bags, free popcorn and blankets to the crowd.  It was a different way to spend the evening, sitting on the steps in the shade watching a film, especially one I haven't seen in years!

I have another fairly busy weekend coming up with my Boss's leaving do on Friday and some drinks in Brum with H on Saturday, starting off at Marco Pierre Whites for some cocktails.

I've also finally been back to the gym this week after a few weeks off due to my inner ear problems which thankfully seem to have cleared up.  Good times! :-)

On a Lighter/Heavier Note...

The third headliner for Download 2012 has been announced today.

I'm relieved because so far the first two have done absolutely nothing for me.

Metallica. Meh. Maybe good to watch and add to the Gig-CV but other than that I'm not a huge fan.

Black Sabbath. Nah. Influential maybe but they're far too old and uninteresting for me.

But finally... a ray of hope...

The Prodigy. HOO-BLOODY-RAH. They pack a punch. A heavy, beat ridden, bass-ey punch. I am imagining watching them in the dark, high up on the hill looking down at the stage all lit up, closing my eyes and losing myself in the beats- just as I feel when I'm dancing in a nightclub. I don't like a lot of what they do... but the ones I like... I love.

I've been thinking lately about what makes me like a certain song or type of music. I do love the Prodge, Nine Inch Nails, Puscifer- all bands relying on strong electronic beats and rhythms. It's wierd how you never really know WHY you're attracted to a style of music; why does a certain chord change just seem perfect? Why do I happen to like big, meaty, bass-ey sounds and good strong beats? There's a song by Puscifer which I have listened to daily for the last week and a half, called Horizons and it is just perfect. I am in love with it. Every chord change, the voice, the beat, the pace... it's dreamlike and beautiful. It makes me want to close my eyes. It makes me see imagery and gives me energy.

I guess it'll always be a mystery as to why... and maybe that's partly why I'm so intrigued by the whole process.