New Arrival

Urgh... I'm not well again today. I woke up with a nasty headache, gave it the best part of a few hours to leave of it's own accord but it refused so I battered it with paracetamol instead. It's sort of worked but now I feel really shaky and sick. Think I preferred the headache.

Anyway, last night was fun. I haven't been in a recovery vehicle since I was small so it was all a bit exciting.

Despite getting home in the early hours of the morning, and spending most of the day doing laundry for my mom whilst feeling ill, there was SOME good news:

I can officially announce the new arrival; the pitter patter of a brand, new, bouncing pair of shoes! Yep... Niall managed to find a pair of my beloved Pirate shoes that actually fit me and they arrived today with a healthy £7.45 customs charge. Woohoo! :-)

£

I'm tired today.

Tired of:

Jobhunting, not sleeping, not having money, not being able to do what I want so badly to do, of people misunderstanding me totally, of the past, worrying about the future, trying to tell myself I'm attractive and not really believing it, of waiting around for Niall when he's treated me like crap, of grey skies, politics, bad news, moaning about being tired of things, not going out, wishing things were different, struggling to trust people, aches and pains, finding it hard to stay positive.

I'm trying... this weekend has just really sucked out any positive vibes I had. I'll get em back, I know it... just tired for now. Niall managed to crash his car into the side of a truck on Friday morning. Fortunatly he was unhurt but his car was written off so he's had to get another loan to buy a new car as he needs it for the commute to work. I've been helping him to sort out finances this weekend and we've been running around looking at new cars and getting insurance quotes. I've just got money money money money money going round and round in my head- it's terrifying. I'm fine not being rich; I'm well adjusted enough to know the value of money and the the inevitability of existing without large sums of cash never bothered me before University... but it's crippling knowing that you might be totally poor forever. I'm prepared to work, to pay my way and create a good career for myself, but house prices are still shooting up, bills are going up above the rate of inflation, it's impossible to get on the property ladder, the government fails to recognise that people have massive debts these days and can't afford to do anything than to get into bigger debts all whilst working their ass off just to claw their way back up the scale to nought. How are you meant to get married and have a family in between paying off about three loans, a mortgage, and rising utility bills? Future's are scary things.

I had a job interview saturday for some part time work. The hours are good so that I can work a fair bit and still have time for art work, competitions and self promotion. I should hear back in a week or so. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Ways of Seeing.

It took me almost a full year to appreciate what I was being taught in art college. My rather odd, but unique art teacher, guru- if you will, spurted the usual arty jargon which to the untrained ear sounds like complete nonsense; ( "drawing isn't about drawing so much as it's about Seeing") but it still all sticks with me today. I was told to forget what I'd "learnt" about art before, ignore all my impulses and preconceptions of art and drawing; I was un-taught everything. As art students, you're basically reverted back to a child... and I know why too. Ever since, I've been totally fascinated by how children view the world. It's something you can never get back no matter how much art training you have. It's special, and it's a shame that we lose it to become these numbed out adults. I'm glad that I can appreciate the wierd and wonderful, see beauty where others wouldn't and that's as close to that child-like wonder I'm ever going to get, but man, I'm glad I have it.

How many people think what the world would look like to an alien visitor? Seriously, the amount of times I look at some every day object or action and think- how wierd is this, really? Like clapping... look at clapping- how odd is it? How strange is it seeing a packed theatre full of humans all slapping the ends of their limbs together?

I realised how numbed out I was becoming, how 'adult' and dull, on a trip to an art gallery in London a few years ago. My friend and I stood looking at an abstract sculpture for a while. It was by Raymond Duchamp- Villon. A mother with a toddler walked by, and the child looked in bewilderment at the sculpture, tugged on his mom's arm and said- "look, mommy, a horse"... Holy. Crap. This sculpture was a horse... a Cubist Horse. Two art students hadn't worked it out, and incidentally hadn't read the label!, but a two year old saw it straight away... we were both amazed. We felt damn stupid but amazed at the same time.

I miss that. I miss that ability to see differently, with fresh eyes, so open to new things, able to see so much more than adults can. Obviously innocence has many many disadvantages but in terms of seeing- as adults we lose out big time. I don't want that. I don't want to ever get bored of seeing. Children find excitement and intrigue in normal things. A simple train ride and you see them pointing out the window at pretty much anything- a building! another train! Yeah they have the energy, and they haven't seen it all before maybe, it's all new to them... but how cool it must be to see everything with that much awe. I guess with that can come fear... this world must be pretty scary too to innocent eyes, but to have such a strong physical and emotional reaction to just seeing- THAT is priceless, and I never want to lose it. Plus it explains why imagery can totally freak me out. It's a basic instinct that gets lost early on as we start to try and explain things with words rather than feel how we react to them. Bloody words... they always get in the way. Here I am writing about it all rather than illustrating it- I guess that says it all!

I keep getting told that age brings wisdom and tolerance and all that crap, but does it? Or does it bring cynicism, numbness, monotony and narrow vision. That could be the cataracts though.

My mum has a fridge magnet that states: Age is where a broad mind and a narrow waste exchange places. So true.

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes but in having new eyes. "
Proust

The Post Formally Known As Untitled.

I wasn't THAT pissed off that I couldn't post for a week... I've just not had much to say this and my time has been taken up with other matters.

My main subject of annoyance this week- Parents. Now, I love my parents to bits, and this certainly isn't a teenage whinge on the subject either, but somewhere, somehow there must have been a universal shift this week, causing parents to act strangely or annoyingly. I've had a small run in with my own, a massive run in with some one elses for them being judgmental, hypocritical and downright unfair... and then two of my friends seem to be having differences with theirs too. A plea to all parents-

Chill-the hell- out.

Aside from that I did manage to squeeze in a visit to Uni-ville to see ktp and rfa for rock night. It was far too cold for my new skirt, so for I think the first time in a few years... I went out wearing trousers. Aaaah the warmth.

Sods Law.

Sods Law should be banned. I hate it.

So the much loved pirate shoes, the things I've been looking forward to for weeks, the things I've had to get redirected twice, the things that got lost in the mail, the things I've complained to Royal Mail about for not delivering, the things I spent the last of my Christmas money on and now have NO more left, the things that seem to have vanished from the UK market...

... They're too small.

I am pirate shoe-less. And thoroughly pissed off.

The Pirate Investigation.

So I think I want to be a Pirate.

Lets look at the evidence:









Exhibit A. A selection of my clothes... ALL containing skull and cross bones.












Exhibit B. The pair of shoes I just bought... sporting a Pirate symbol.














Exhibit C. *dribble*











Exhibit D. A screen shot of my current desktop complete with a Pirate Hat adorned Mr Boyd.


and lastly, Exhibit E...













Pirate Slink... fancy dress party 2005 complete with sword, stripey socks, eye patch and bandana.

I don't know where this obsession has come from, neither do I know if you can call it an obsession if I haven't been completely aware of it. However, it's not just me- this phenomenon has seemingly spread to my younger sister Vix (see below), who also informed me today she was has been invited to a Pirate Party!














This all prompted me to ask the question: Where has this Pirate obsession come from?

I have delved deep into my childhood to discover the answers, and here are my findings:

Okay. My first thought turned to this ---------------------->

Pop-Up Pirate, the game that many of us had when we were small I'm sure. It seemed this was to be merely my first encounter with the my Pirate Destiny.
I believe this game belonged to my older brother who also spent many an hour playing with Pirate lego, Pirate playmobile and so on. I must have been pretty much surrounded by pirates as a child so this was bound to have a long lasting effect on me.

Here's my brother when he was little, possibly about 8 or 9 years old... look closely at his clothing. Stripes, a scarf, belt with big buckle and a parrot on his T-shirt... blatantly Pirate. (Thank god he's in Japan, he'd kill me if he saw this). He also owned a Pirate ship which I think is still in the attic somewhere. My first piece of evidence was in the form of a photograph of Drayton Manor Theme Park... the photo plainly showed the Pirate Adventure ride- which happened to be my favorite at the time... mainly because I was way too small for most of the other rides and I pretty much hate anything that moves faster than I can think- no jokes about my brain speed please. I remember many a holiday to Cornwall. Hell, we still go there now, and I think we all hold it in our hearts as our family holiday destination. Cornwall, aside from being a holiday destination famous for pasties, piskies and cream teas, is also famous for Pirates. Lots of them, and a quick internet search will pick up many a tale and legend.

As I trawled through lots of family photographs spanning over some 20 odd years I should think, I found a pattern emerging. On most holidays, my family were able to track down large galleon sailing ships! My dad does have a fascination with boats so I think that explains it- but just how many photographs I found of these damn galleons was incredible, and now I too have seem to get drawn to these big ships when I see them. I even took a photograph of one last holiday in a place called Charlestown- another famous Pirate place.

So, even our family holidays were tinged with Pirate activity, visiting Pirate locations and playing on galleons. Look on the left and you'll see my brother playing with a cannon aboard one ship.

On the right here, my poor father experiences Pirate torture as my brother and I develop our blood thirst at a young age.

My little sister was born in 1989, and even years after these photos were taken, our family holidays were still including visits to sailing ships- possibly to train up the new Pirate in our midst. In the picture below, my sister could be no older than three and yet she finds herself at the helm of another Galleon. Incredible.

To Conclude:

Wether or not my family has REAL Pirate blood running through our veins is yet to be proven, but the overwhelming evidence suggests that it's a trait that we won't escape.

Holidays were tainted with Pirate activity, spending more than average amounts of time on large galleons and sailing ships. Echoes of this at home seeped into our lives playing with Pirate games, wearing Pirate clothes (in my brothers case) and playing with Pirate themed toys. The visiting of Pirate heritage still occurs on family holidays today.

It seems the Pirate instinct has lain dormant for some time and has gradually been re-awoken. Unable to pull away from the magnetism of the Skull and Crossbones symbol, The Jolly Roger has crept into my families wardrobe, decor and right into the core of our being.

It really is no wonder I just HAD to buy those shoes.

A Pointless Ramble.

Still. Can't. Find. A. Stupid. JOB.

and until I do.. I can't really afford to self promote much... or do much at all for that matter.

I've printed out some CV's to hand out randomly in town. Hopefully some places will keep me on file for any up-coming jobs. It seems that, keeping on looking online, signing up to places, and walking round town endlessly is all I can do for now.... oh and of course the crappy jobcentre.

Moan over. Something will come up.

I have on the other hand completed some artwork for a friends new project called The Picture Show, and this time I've even got paid. Quite pleased with some of them, and it was nice being semi-creative for a while. I also placed an ad and my profile on channel 4's IdeasFactory webpage so maybe I'll get a few more people viewing my work from there.

In other, non work related news... my 'sort-of' resolution this year is to build up and maintain my self esteem and a more positive attitude. I was doing quite well over christmas and I'm determined it's going to be a good move for my general wellbeing. It has meant that I had to purchase some new shoes and underwear though. Those things are obligatory to the self esteem building process. :) And yeah- I can't afford them. Tough shit- it's for my health and I figured my relatives would want me to spend my christmas money on nicer things than ink cartridges and flippin printing costs.

Geeez... this really IS a pointless ramble. laters.

Wierd Thought # 75689100002

The human equivalent of a snowman in snow would be a person standing naked while it rained bits of skin or dna.

huh?

It's not the 9th of January already is it???! Is it.... ?! .... yeah it is....

crap.

Well I totally made myself ill on New Years Eve but fortunatly this was a good few hours after midnight. Unfortunatly however, I was extreeeeemely ill... but for that I blame Sarah B's pretty damn difficult drinking games complete with shots of Whiskey and Port for extra effect.

Today I resumed jobhunting in my new location albeit half heartedly since there was hardly anything in town, most of the shops had no stock in let alone staff, and I couldn't be bothered to walk up the giant hill to get to the lousy jobcentre. Ah well... I have been trying to email about an illustration post in London, but I keep getting delivery failure notices whenever I send! It's really frustrating. I'm really missing making stuff, and want to do soem illustration soon, just to get back into the habit. I also really want to take more photographs of stuff and start sketching people again- it'll all be good practise and I really miss doing/being and feeling creative.

I miss Niall too. I miss being an "us". His choice though.

Speech!

Apologies for the lack of blogging over the last few weeks. They seem to have flown by in one big, blurry, hectic and sometimes nasty mess, but I'm still plodding on. I am now back in Brum. Niall is having to rethink a few things and grow up, whilst I am trying to do whatever it takes for me to be happy- short term and long term. But I am okay and thanks for those of you who have listened to me, helped me or hugged me in the last week or two.

Christmas was pretty quiet this year. Things were obviously going to feel different and a bit sad since I'd moved back home. The change has been a breath of fresh air and after recent events I've been revitalised and I'm feeling stronger and surer about things than I have in a long time. I've rediscovered a part of myself that seems to get buried alot, and it's nice to finally see it all again. I am essentially slink, and one thing I will ALWAYS love about myself is that I'm totally true to myself and who I am. It's take it or leave it- and it's your loss if you can't be bothered to find out more about me. I'm sexy, I'm fucken cool, I'm talented, I appreciate solidity, truth, passion, creativity, ideas, friendship and I genuinely care about people who take the time to get to know me. I'll never be a walk over, and I'll always have an opinion, I'll speak out if I feel I have to and I'll not settle for being treated wrongly either. I don't ask for anything more of people than they would expect in return, and I won't put my career on the back burner without a decent compromise. I don't think any of this is unfair or unjust, if people don't like it, don't like how I dress, act, look, they can fuck the hell off and leave me be.

Speech over. :)

For christmas I got:

A big green Lizard
DVD's
CD
Red nail varnish
Two scarves and a hat
Gloves, two bandanas, some earings and a hat from my bro in Japan
Plenty of booze
Even more chocolate and sweets
Some charms for my bracelet
Clothes
Perfume
A beautiful star and some Willy Wonka pencils
A Nightmare before Christmas game
A shrug
Spider Earings
Money
A book about photography
A book full of cake recipes!
The obligatory smellies
oooh and some fortune telling fish!

Think that's just about it so I'm pretty chuffed.

My next issue is deciding wether to buy a cowboy hat with my christmas money or save it for boring self promotion work.... hrmmmmm...

A Big Mistake.

All of a sudden everything has gone black. But I can still see the lies and I can still feel the sting of my wounds. Crushed, ripped, skin torn, heart charred... I hope it was worth it.

I deserve better. As little as I think of myself, I deserve so much more than you.

Only smarties have the answer...

It's been one of those uppy downy sort of days today... but I've noticed a pattern to today that's quite encouraging. I woke up with really bad tummy cramp so that put me in a bad mood, and spent the morning looking for jobs (as per usual) with which I got nowhere (as per usual), however the ladybug phoned me round dinner time so I enjoyed a nice salad and a good natter with her. I realised how much I miss being at home, but I also felt better for catching up with an old mate. Things took a turn for the worse again when I went to get a few things from asda for cooking my cottage pie tonight. Urgh it was busy and annoying and two people walked into me without so much as a glance or an apology, assholes. I also got pissed off by the fact that I had to buy a 70cl bottle of Baileys (can't explain why, but trust me it HAD to be 70cl) costing £9.89 when a HUUGE one litre bottle cost £9.84 ... now where's the logic in that?!? To make matters worse I got ID'd buying the damn thing! Stupid Asda. However, on returning home and rummaging through my bag to find my key- I found like twenty smarties in the bottom of my bag! In perfect condition I might add, and from last weekend!

On the sight of suprise chocolate I immediately calmed down and knew that everything was going to be okay. :-)

Bus stop.

I was waiting at the bus stop last week and as you would expect a little old lady came to join me in my wait for the bus. She started talking to me about the cold weather and how the buses were always late etc, the usual old lady at a bus stop conversational topics, and I obviously chatted away back to her. So anyway, a few minutes later this black guy comes along in a rather wicked long coat and asks us what time the bus comes, he looked pretty freezing and was jumping on the spot, rubbing his gloved hands together to keep warm.

So there we were, the three of us, me, the sweet little old lady and the guy in the coat; all cold and waiting for the bus, laughing together at the cold weather and united in our longing for the warm bus to hurry up and collect us. Then it happened... one of those awful moments. The little old lady turned to me and whispered - "They're probably not used to the cold are they?" nodding over at the Black guy... :-o !!! ... errr... what do you do when a sweet old lady says something like that?! All I could do was sort of fake smile at her. I know it obviously comes from her generation's mind set but still... if it had been my Grandad or something I'd have said "well actually Grandad he was probably born here so I'm sure he's as used to it as the rest of us", but there I was caught between being nice and respectful to old people and blatent albeit unintentional racism. Bus stops eh?

Anyways, in other news, I had a drink of Apple Juice this morning... nice, you may be thinking, so what's the big deal? Well, I'd already had a few sips and had noticed a funny smell about it, but I carried on anyway, thinking it couldn't be off or anything. Another sip... and coming to think of it, it definately tasted a bit wierd too... I just couldn't place what it tasted like... about two sips later it hit me... it was Niall's Mexican Chicken. EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW. It was rank. This chicken has been stinking out our fridge for the last day or two as it gradually fills up his sandwiches, and up until now it's been just about manageable... but I draw tha line at the smell being SO overpowering it actually starts to infiltrate and infuse other foods in the fridge! Hell, I have CHOCOLATE in there for gods sake!!! It's going, there's no doubt about it.

Ew.

Moneymas

Christmas shopping isn't going well this year. I usually have some degree of confidence in my budget, in getting things people will like (mostly), and in being organised enough to get them all in good time. But, this year I have no idea what to get people, have minus three million pounds (or so it feels) and can't see me being able to get organised. It's been stressing me out more than usual- I think mainly because of money, and i've exhausted the "hand made gifts" thing for the last two years running, so that's not really an option.

I have made a small start though, and I managed to get three and a half pressies and remain under budget by quite a long way so that's good news. I can feel myself turning into a right bargain hunter this year... but I refuse point blank to mention anything being cheap as chips.

I also mananged to sell a DVD on ebay for £12.50 ... yes, £12.50... and I completely think I've seen it in the shops for half that... Ha! Give me your money Idiot... :-D

House Warming

This house shivers.

As I spend most of the night lying awake, I've become aware of the bed shivering every now and then. I've slowly discounted all the possibilities- like Niall twitching about or snoring or whatever, me moving, traffic causing vibrations- as I couldn't hear any large lorries or anything, it's not in my head either, I have damn good senses and I can actually feel it. It's happened a fair bit at night; I couldn't work it out anyway... I ended up just assuming it was pipes or something.

However, I was sitting at the computer a few days ago in the middle of the day. The main road outside our house was quiet and I sit by the window so I could see there was nothing on the road. I felt it... the house shivered. It's so. freakin. wierd. It wasn't enough to make things rattle, though my moniter wobbled a bit, it's just damn strange. Before you go saying that I imagined it, don't bother- I didn't... and though nothing moved I could feel it through my feet and around me; it wasn't an internal shake coming from me.

I checked out for any seismic activity but I can't exactly remember what day it was. However, the only seismic activity in the UK in the last few days has been up in Scotland.

This has got to mean one of the following:

a) I have super heightened senses and can feel every movement of the earth

b) Our house has been built on an old coal mine and is going to collapse

c) It's just rrrrreeeeally cold

hmm. Anyone know of any companies selling house sized scarves and hats?

Ultimate Mash

I make THE best mash potato in the world... I'm sure of it... Delia can go jump.

rocky bouncy ouchy rock

You can always measure the greatness of a night out's playlist by how sore your body is the next day. It's taken two full days to get full neck movement back, and for my ankles to feel like they're attached again... which means that mostly the music was pretty damn good. It was pretty strange being back in Uni-ville after so long, but I think it's safe to say we had a good night. I think Niall is still in pain, no doubt from insisting on headbanging like a loon, whereas I am mostly fully recovered.

I do believe we'll have to do it all again pretty soon, I don't like not having a weekly dose of rock night, and if it comes to it, I really don't like not being a student at all... but that one's kinda inevitable I suppose.

Big thanks to ktp and rfa for inviting us over. Miss you guys. x

Finally...

... music! I've been looking for aages for a new cd, a new album, something I can really sink into ... and after seeing an advert on TV I did a bit of investigating and found: Joze Gonzalez. I totally love this album. It's acoustic and pretty, chilled and loungy (is that a word?) - just right for the wintery weather. I'd be a happy bunny if I could only write simple little songs like this; really makes me want to get the guitar out again.

At some point today I'll stop listening to Veneer and go buy an onion for cooking my spaghetti bolognese tonight... maybe in a bit anyway...

Noisy Lights.

Niall had never been to a proper bonfire night/ fireworks display other than at Uni, so this Saturday evening was spent standing on the spot for a veery long time, watching noisy lights in the sky. The bonfire was tad disappointing: Some poor sod had constructed this massive wooden wheel with geese on (no I have no idea why either) and the idea was that it spun round as it burnt, I should imagine so that it appeared to resemble a great big Catherine Wheel... sadly it only spun once thanks to this little man pushing it round, then it stopped ... nice in theory, maybe lacking in everything else. It was good watching it collapse into the bonfire though. I think there's a primal connection with watching fire destroy things that just appeals to us all- though I draw the line at throwing massive wooden geese on it. I think I was missing something there... unless geese played an integral part of the gun powder plot that I was unaware of! Either way, I enjoyed it actually and enjoyed it even more for the fact it was free. It did dawn on me however, that either fireworks are getting quieter or my hearing is getting worse. I'd probably say the latter, thanks to many years of loud gigs, and nights out.

aah nights out... so long ago... so many memories... Mark almost breaking his neck from headbanging, or there just being him and Niall moshing to some rubbish on the dance floor while I look on drinking my JD and coke with a welcome blend of comfort and shame, the noise, the people watching, the laughing, my feet aching, Dave breaking loads of glasses by trying to build a glass sculpture, and creating ashtray tortoises... *sigh* ... There ARE plans for a rock night venture in the pipeline so hopefully soon, the New Rocks will get a good thrashing back in Luffy. Woohoo!

Today, I have been mostly burning myself on our grill. It hurts. Alot, and for some reason I've now got a rash all around the burn. Wierd.


Sleep Update: No sleep since last sleeping tablet

Reject.

So I had my first official Illustration rejection yesterday and another one today. It's kinda wierd to know that actual businessy type people have been looking at my work, but still it's a sign of progress in a rejection sort of a way. We've had it drummed into us to expect nothing from any self promotion we do, so I'm not disapointed about this- it's a given. Obviously I'd prefer someone to offer me £10'000 for an advertising campaign... but still.

Unfortunatly the part time job hunt is going just as well as the career one is and am beginning to realise that temping may be my only option now. Fingers crossed.

Spiral Scarecase.

Sleep Update: Signs of improvement.

I haven't posted for a whole week... that is just not acceptable.

I went to the doctors last Tuesday and he prescribed me some Temazapam to help me sleep. I tried it that very night and didn't sleep. hrmm... so I went back home on the Wednesday to see if being at home helped. On the Thursday I had to get up pretty early to go on a daytrip to London with the folks and my sister who hadn't been there before. It was pretty good; The weather was stupidly hot for October but obviously made for a nice day walking about. First stop after a looong tube trip was Buckingham Palace where I think, aside from the Queen, we were the only British people there. I also must have walked into about a million photographs too. Next, we walked up passed Big Ben to get to the South Bank, stopping to watch some fancy dressed Horse Guards on the way. We caught a river bus up to Grenwich where we saw the Cutty Sark and had Bangers and Mash in a tiny non-smokers room of this old pub. After replenishing ourselves with such fine cuisine, we trundled off to The Royal Observatory and somehow managed to gatecrash a University Graduation along the way.

We did the obligatory thing of standing over the Grenwich Line which I must say was a bit of a dissapointment- it really is just a metal line, though watching all the foreign people go mad over it was funny. The actual observatory was ever so slightly boring to me too, full of wierd gadgets and things that I couldn't really understand me being an ex art student and all. I loved the big telescope though in the observatory dome, but almost died trying to get back down the stairway to hell on the way out. I had clocked the sign on the spiral staircase up to the telescope, that read: There is NO return via this staircase. Though it SHOULD have read: There is NO return via this staircase because we ask you to return to solid ground via the Spiral Staircase of Doom on the otherside.

Holy. Crap. I was caught... my sister was in front of me... I had a group of Germans behind me... and the only way out was down the flimsiest looking stairwell I have ever seen. I swear I could have cried... It had HOLES... Great Big Bastard holes so you could see the three flights of stairs to solid ground... I needed time to deal with it but I had none. I gripped on to the main pole bit of the spiral and the bannister which was about as reassuring as holding a pencil while your plummeting to your death... and slowly and not in the least but steadily walked down the stairs, if you can call them that. The urge to just freeze was immense... but I kept going. The worst part being that I couldn't NOT look down! After what seemed like an hour I reached the floor.

I must have been feeling really British because the first thing I did after that was put a suggestion for more signage about the Death-Stairs in the observatory Comments Box.

Soo.. after that, we caught the Boat back to Westminster Pier and walked to Covent Garden for a look see, though I totally think we got lost though my Dad insisted he knew where he was going because " HE HAD A MAP!". Still, after that we caught the tube back to hillingdon, where we'd parked to avoid traffic. I was shattered, we all were but I tried to stay awake on the way back by watching The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy in the car on the way back. I was BOUND to sleep that night ... but I took a sleeping pill anyway, and it worked.

So that was that. Right now, I'm back in Notty and waiting for Creature Comforts to come on TV. Other than London, things have been feeling.. bluegrh of late so hopefully this week will be much more productive.

Fingers Crossed.

Eternal Nightmare of the Sleepless Mind.

I've tried just about everything now, apart from getting completely hammered... and I still haven't slept properly. I've been back home this weekend and even the comfort of my old home bed didn't work... though I did sleep twenty minutes or so which is some sort of progress I guess. I have tried a relaxing bath full of sleepy radox bubble bath, brandy in warm milk, oh, and sleeping tablets... none of which worked. Hopefully the doctor will give me some advice this week, and some massive tranquilisers too. mmmmm tranquilisers...

So, as I said thursday night we drove back to brum. After waiting for months, on Friday night, I finally saw it.... Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride. I loved it, I really really did. The models were simply brilliant and such a progression from A Nightmare Before Christmas; they were so smooth and the movement so fluid... just brilliantly done. The colours, the textures, the scenes and scapes, characters... it was all perfect. The only gripe I had was that it was so short.

The next evening, Mum had bought us tickets to see Stomp. I've seen them before, a few years ago and they're just brilliantly entertaining. Niall hadn't seen them before and seemed suitably impressed by the energy, noise and humour of it all. It was a good night.

So even all that excitement and 'stuff' didn't send me off to sleep... nor did mom's big roast dinner this afternoon, followed by slumping in front of the sofa watching motor racing. I'm buggered. Pass me the whiskey...

Insomniac.

I seem to have forgotten how to sleep. I think I've managed to sleep for about an hour since last monday. At first I was having serious nightmares early last week... and now, nothing. I can't sleep, can't even nap during the day. Today, my body is exhausted, I'm all emotional and I look dead because I'm incredibly tired but I just. can't. sleep.

I need pills.

Movies.

I've seen alot of movies lately... thought I'd do a one (perhaps two) sentence review of each.

NIGHTWATCH:
A very odd but visually appealing Russian film which is entertaining enough if you stick it out to the end; strange storyline, gothy-sci-fantasy overtones and imagery but a decent watch if you're in a dark mood.

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN:
Not easy to sum up in a whole sentence, you only really need a four letter word beginning with S and ending with T.

SIDEWAYS:
A character study of two middle aged men on a road trip, quirky rather than funny but not a film for acosy night in because you'll be asleep half way through.

CONSTANTINE:
Hrm. Watchable but inconsistent in quality, Constantine proves to be a mixed bag as it fails to be scary when it wants to be, fails to be thrilling when it wants to be and fails to be intellectual when it wants to be- a bit like Keanu Reeves to be precise. It kept me watching but it seemed to lack that certain something; it had potential but appears "tacky" on the outside.

THE LIFE AQUATIC:
Another odd film but again, strangely captivating. In keeping with Wes Andersons style, the film doesn't rely on a strong narrative to tell a story but quirky, slightly unusual characters. I always find these films strange but the animated creatures and Bowie (ooh and they played Sigur Ros near the end!) soundtrack kept me entertained enough to stick it out 'til the end.

A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT:
From the Director of Amelie, this film is a similar work of art. The story slowly unfolds at just the right pace; heart warming and well written with some good mise en scene for the artsy-fartsy viewer.

SHATTERED GLASS:
The film verison of a true story based around a young journalist who makes up his stories. Though I managed to watch it without wishing I hadn't I was left pretty underwhelmed the whole way through; it ended abruptly without wrapping anything up and it felt like a bit of a waste of time though. Most of the film was us trying to figure out wether the main character was the same guy from Star Wars (Hayden Christensen). I decided he was alot more attractive as Luke Skywalker.

WALLACE & GROMIT, THE CURSE OF THE WIER RABBIT:
Sooooooooooo brilliant and everything you come to expect from such an amazing animation company. The details in sets and scenes are charming, skillful and as humourous as the characters, adding to the whole genius of the typical Aardman experience.

:)